Wednesday, March 29, 2006

you are feeling veerrrrry sleeeepy, your eyes are feeeling verrrry heavyyyy

I can't sleep. I should be in my nice warm bed but I just can't fall off that deep abyss into sleep. I've gotta get up early in the morning and it's nearly 1am. I'm tired, my eyes are grainy but I'm not sleepy. So I'm having a brain dump. Please find forthwith the reasons I can't sleep:

1. to quote Shakespeare: Oh bloody period [from the end of Othello, always have to chuckle at that line] and the doctor from Lost in Space: Oh the pain, the pain!

2. work. why is it that my brain starts thinking about work when I'm trying to sleep? thinking about all the unresolved issues that need solutions, thinking about what I didn't do today, drafting letters, how I need more hours in the day etc.

3. thinking about the Exman. I made the mistake, actually mistake is the wrong word... can't think of the right word but I reread some of the love letters I've kept from him. After not seeing him the other weekend I haven't been able to stop thinking about him. It's not so much him per se but the time we spent together and the intensity of our relationship. Reading those letters brought back all the nervous in the guts feelings I had when we were first going out, that jelly knees feeling. When I admit it to myself [when I'm not in a bitter and jaded mood] he's the first guy that I truely loved. I want to see him again and see how he's doing. Even if he is plump and wears leatha pants ;}

I wish I could distill the emotional intensity of that relationship with the sexual intensity of the relationship with asshole2. Not that any relationship is ever perfect but is the type of relationship that I want now. I wish I wasn't such a chicken when it comes to Ollie. He could potentially be leaving work at the end of June, his contract is up then and I have no idea if he'll be renewed. I can find out but if he does leave... ? But [and maybe I've watched too much Oprah] I figure that if he like liked me then I'd know about it. He's just not that in to me. I could read too much into everything that he says or does [which I do anyway] but I think that if it was real then I'd really know about it and we'd be together. I think that's the way that guys work [unless he's really shy]. I know that guys like girls to approach themn first but at the same time I know from my guy friends that if there's a girl that they like then they go after them bigtime. So I'm happy to be friends. Well no I'm not but I'll settle for being friends. And then I'll drool about him and bitch to you at the unfairness of it all ;} [hey, I'm tired so shutup]

4. speaking of drooling, did I mention that coffeeboy is back at work? nice to have some eyecandy back in the cafe. He's filled out a bit and damn it looks good on him. He was bitching today that he's put on 15kgs while he's been away and I had to bite my tongue on the half a dozen smartass replies that sprung to mind.

5. tax, haven't done my frucking tax yet. And gotta pay my bills before they cut me off.

6. I feel like I'm getting a cold but it's only in one nostril which is pissing me off. I lie one way and my nostril blocks up and I lie the other way and it unblocks. annoying!

7. the fan in my bedroom has developed an intermittant squeak. At least it could be consistant so that it could perhaps be a fraction lulling but nooo the odd squeak just jolts me awake as I'm drifting off further compounding my lack of sleep action [or is that non action..] Can't work out where the squeak is coming from..stoopid fan... BUT on the plus, we go back to daylight savings next weekend which means that winter is just around the corner YAY! I love winter! bring on the chilly nights and frosty mornings. fuckin A! I hate summer, too bloody hot.

8. I've got a medley of Sevendust songs going around in my head and it's keeping me awake.

9. thinking of cleaning the house of all things. I've been a bit lax with the domestic duties of late and it needs a bit of attention. which I was going to do tonight but was just too bloody buggered and couldn't be bothered. I blame it on Survivor Exile Island for waylaying me. Looks like a good season. I love the idea of the Exile Island and I'd be putting my hand up to stay there [me and my deserted island fantasy and all]. No super hotties but should be good anyway ;}

10. I've already read a bit of my book before bed and if I read anymore I'll be dreaming of it again like the night before last when I was helping setting up the African Miners union and waking myself up by talking in my sleep.

Okay I'm headed back under the covers, wish me luck. To misquote Shakeybaby again: [what's with the midnight quotes eh?] Off damn brain, off I say!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

petting the sweaty things

Been having a bit of a peach inspediment at the moment so I dare not write too much. Freudian slip of the weekend: I was talking to my brother about pot [well lack thereof really] and out pops "old habits die high" teehee!

Or how about yesterday as I'm walking out of the building with my assistant talking about Sawyer and as we go past the lockers in the basement I point at my locker and say "that's my lawyer". *unties knot in tongue*

After the day I had today there's going to be some serious ass kicking tomorrow if it continues. I'm not going to bore you tonight only because I'm saving the juicy goodness for tomorrow should said ass whupin ensue.

Off to relax with a cinnyvod and the first episode of Survivor: Island Exile yeah baby!

Friday, March 24, 2006

Now my mind is at standstill as I breathe to get away

ahhh it's Friday and I was going to post a long ranty post today [maybe tomorrow] but I've had waaaay too many cinnamon vodkas and now I just don't feel like it so have this instead: [my apologies to anyone I may have commented tonight AHAHA!]

Laffed my ass off - went to get my Goth name as per Lady Muck's instruction and my Goth name is Leather Pleasure - OH SO TRUE! eeeheheheheheheh or else it's Bondage Slut using my nickname and last name or else it's Velvet Vamp using Ollie's last name teehee! Ollie's name is Velvet Rain Drops HAHA!

As well as having my 2000th customer, have I mentioned that I've had at least 25 hits from my last nails pic? dunno what these people are searching for when they've come across my nails but just for an update sake here is today's nails update. I'm wearing trashy barbie pink Ozotic polish which is seriously neato bandito [even if it's expensive it's so worth it]. It's got little mirror chips in it so as you can see it's tres trashy. Actually the pink on the website is what I have on. I've also got the flame red, purpley green and the purpley orange [on the left on the website] - so hot! If you absolutely must have some email me.

Gratuitous M'Lord pic [only because he happened to be on my camera as I'm downloading nail pix]

All curled up on my kitchen boxes

and giving me his green eyed stare

Scary how much work is starting to take over personal life. In the last two days I've almost answered my home phone with Good afternoon CG speaking. *sigh*

And fuck you Hermes for your latest post [I still love you] but damn I can almost taste it. It's been 8 months without a smoke and oh my god do I dream about it and think about it way too much. Every time I'm out I'm just hoping someone will spark up some shit bud just for the smell or the taste. ARGH! My problem not his but oh my fuckin god I want a smoke...

still playing: Sevendust - Animosity and Home
still reading: Power of the Sword - Wilbur Smith

Monday, March 20, 2006

Quick to the point, to the point no faking

Typical, just typical...

so Saturday... Had dinner with the gals and levelled with them that I was chickening out on going out afterwards because of the exman. They were cool and bok boked at me but they've all been there at one stage or another. So I head home and at 11:30 I get a series of pix sent to my phone.

Here I was worried about how *I* look... I laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants. the Exman is now plumper than I am and was sporting not only a blonde Vanilla Ice chock hairstyle but wearing rockstar leather pants. And I thought I looked bad... woah Ice Ice baby to GO! Spookily enough he looks quite a bit like that Vanilla Ice pic. When I think of all the times we bagged out the local musos for being rockstar posers... I just wonder what the hell happened... and then I sit back and laugh a little more. Who cares!

Friday, March 17, 2006

bok bok brawk!

I am a serious chicken. I'm kicking myself in my feathery ass. I'm going out for dinner on Saturday with some friends and one of them told me that we're all going out afterwards to see a friend's band play. Cool no problem. She then casually mentions that my ex's new band will also be playing. CRAP! I can't stand the thought of seeing him again... why? No, not because he smushed my heart to a bloody pulp or because I still have tiny, miniscule, microscopic feelings for him. Why? Because I don't want him to see how fat I have become since we split. fuck I'm an idiot. The idea of seeing him again horrifies me so much that I'm trying to devise schemes of how I can have dinner and then skip out on the band watching. [oh okay maybe it has something to do with those other two reasons but not by much] I'll do just about anything to get out of it. All suggestions welcome of course - and no I can't just go and enjoy myself because that's just not an option dammit!

Option a) go to dinner then get someone to call me at a designated time and call me away to some emergency [have to work out what that will be as it's gotta be pretty bloody good if it's going to be believable]

Option b) find some excuse not to go at all [but I don't really want to do that as I do want to catch up with these gals]

Option c) go to dinner and the club but try to avoid the Exman all night - possible but waaaay to risky.

Option d) no fucking idea!!! My featherbrain is just not coming up with any feasable ideas and all the above are just way too cheesy.

fuck fuck fuck fuckinshit fuckity FUCK!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

walking through a field with no solitude

Damn you full moon!!! Talk about hell day. GEEEEZ! Why is it that everyone wants everything at once on full moon day? I had a 10 minute lunch break today and had to divert my phone just so that I could eat in peace. Thank god for the public holiday on Monday - although I'm half tempted to go into work while no one is there. Perfect time to get shit done wihtout any interruptions. We'll see.

My assistant is working out well. Head down, bum up so I'm happy. I'll just be happier when we've fast forwarded two months and she's half finished the long standing project work that's been assigned to her which puts me ahead as well. Patience CG patience... I'm currently relaxing with my dear friends Tia and Maria ;}

I don't know if it's just because it's ovulation time or what but I've been having some interesting chats with, lets call him Roger - the guy I was telling you about a little while ago who is applying for my big boss' job. He's a cheeky bugger. It's the scorpio gemini fascination all over again. Very interesting and it's so much fun having someone to word spar with. He's got such a quick wit which I really admire in people. Pity he's attached but I get the feeling that that isn't an issue with him. It is with me so nothing will ever happen but lets just say that he's a serious flirt [as most gems are] And Ollie has been reappearing on the radar. He owes me a Sevendust CD which he has promised me tomorrow and in fact I've seen him every day this week. I seriously want to marry him and have his babies. Now that is the ovaries talking ;} *sigh* that's enough before I start seriously gushing with the mushy stuff.

still playing: Sevendust
still reading: Power of the Sword - Wilbur Smith

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

How would it feel if you could

Got a nice email today and thought I'd share cuz I'm in a fuzzy mood:

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

No man is worth your tears, and the one who is won't make you cry.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean that they don't love you with all they have.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

Never frown even when you are sad because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world.

Don't waste your time on a man/woman who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the person we will know how to be grateful.

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

There is always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

Remember: Everything happens for a reason.

now playing: Sevendust
now reading: Power of the Sword - Wilbur Smith

Sunday, March 12, 2006

pack it up, pack it in, let me begin

Welcome to my 200th post! can you believe it?

Today has been one of those sighing kind of days. I'm not sure if it's because I'm hungover, because it's Sunday or if I'm just severely disappointed in human beings. It's just been small things that have been getting to me. Maybe I just expect too much from people? Let's not go there now. I think I'm just tired and in a bitchin mood.

Went shopping today to spend my $100 at Myers and managed to spend it all and have 18 cents left over. I did end up getting kitcheny stuff, just little things that I've wanted/needed and could never really justify the money. Now if only I could use them... Just a few more weeks to wait. Everything is ready to go, just waiting for my benchtop to be installed then the final appliances and then hey presto! I'm getting really impatient now, can't wait til it's done!

Next week should be good, my assistant starts on Tuesday, getting my nails done and my fabbo dresser/sideboard should be done. I've been restoring this funky 60's dresser/sideboard and I should have it done by the end of the week. I'll post you a pic once it's done. I'm so proud :]

now playing: MP3 mix
still reading: The Burning Shore - Wilbur Smith

Friday, March 10, 2006

your love is fine in a better way

Why do all the good ones have to be taken? I was almost going to mention this yesterday but thought I wouldn't bore you with the details. *sigh* but after today... Had a 2 hour meeting yesterday with such a cool guy. Like really icey cool. He's not normally what I'd go for physically but mentally... oh lala. Had another hour long chat with him today under the guise of worky type stuff. Unfortunately he's got a defacto but damn he's mentally the type of guy I'm after and he's so easy to talk to. Also unfortunately he could possibly be my new boss. I've encouraged him to apply for my big bosses job as he certainly has the experiance, the smarts and the right attitude for the job. I have a strong feeling that if he does apply that he'd get the job. It would just mean that we couldn't have our candid chats. But I'd be happy with the fact that he'd be my boss. I'd really enjoy working for him.

Oh yeah, karma kicked me in the ass this morning for laughing so hard at Scott C's discovery of his first grey hair, albeit a grey nostril hair, as I found not one but two grey hairs... in my eyebrows - one each. This makes a total of 3 grey hairs in the eyebrows. I spose I should be counting myself lucky that they're not 'real' grey hairs but even so... not happy Jan.

now playing: mp3 mix
now reading: the Burning Shore - Wilbur Shore

Thursday, March 09, 2006

shake what your momma gave you

I have an assistant!! For the last 2 years I've been promised an assistant and last week I was given the green light. As of yesterday I have successfully recruited an assistant. She'll start next week, poor girl doesn't know what she's in for mwaaahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! And for my petty bitch and moan for the day - it really shits me to tears when you read people's resumes that say that they have good attention to details skills and then will have a bunch of typos. No, no you don't buddy... use a fuckin spellchecker wouldya? sheesh!

It's funny how my brain works, I've been procrastinating on a particular email I need to write and I was using the recruitment as an excuse as it was foremost in my mind - and my dreams too which has been a bit annoying as I haven't been able to escape it. But I slept relatively well last night as I had a bit of closure with the appointment of my lackey and this morning I woke up and had the right words for the email. Very interesting.

And I won a $100 gift voucher to Myers today! Niiiice. I'm going shopping on the weekend and I'll probably buy some kitcheny stuff that I've been after. My kitchen should be done in a couple of weeks. Can't wait to cook again. It has been positively ages.

I got a neato horoscope in the weekend paper:

"There's a change of pace and direction coming up that will make you very happy: you can sense it already."

Hey if it's in the paper it has to be true, right? ;] 'bout bloody time if you ask me. I've been feeling really weird lately but that's a whole other post for another time. Right now I've gotta get some food before I pass out.

Top 3:
1. $100 gift vouchers yeah baby!!
2. people with a quick wit, I can't express how much I enjoy bantering with someone who is so quick you almost miss their comments. MUCH appreciated!
3. the future and what it may hold, tis all good my friends, tis all good.

Now reading: The Burning Shore - Wilbur Smith
Now playing: Duran Duran mix

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Me Me Me!

Only because Kate told me to ;} [you know I'm a sucker for these things]

1 For the purposes of this exercise my name is CG - if I told you my real name I'd have a higher percentage of being found out as my real life name is unique and I live in a relatively small town [pop 309,500ish] [and then I'd have to kill you]

2 I'm named after a renaissance painter's wife and my middle name after a Queen mother [not the British one]

3 There are various paintings of my namesake, I have a copy of one hanging on my wall at home.

4 I've also had a sculpture named after me which was entered into a competition and won second prize.

5 My fathers side of the family can be traced back to 1190 and I'm related to royalty waaaay back there. My ancestors were not convicts.

6 I come from a very creative family. My mother's side of the family are all painters and sculptors and my mother's uncle worked on restoring The Night Watch.

7 As a result I'm pretty creative, I paint, sculpt, draw, bead, sew, weave, been involved in the theatre in a backstage capacity for 18 years and am obsessed with interior design.

8 My little brother is my idol, he constantly amazes me with his talents and personality. I want to be just like him when I grow up. I think he's a better person than I ever will be and I'm glad that he's learned from my mistakes.

9 I've always wanted to have a close relationship with my grandparents but it never happened because we moved so often. Now that they're all gone I regret not making more of an effort.

10 I have visited or lived on every continent.

11 I secretly wish my parents would get back together even though they've been divorced for 14 years. At least they're good friends.

12 My family is very close despite the divorce and in some ways I think the divorce brought us all closer.

13 I'm over protective of my Mum and punched out her last boyfriend for 'abusing' her. I had to be restrained before I did him some serious damage. [this psycho killed one of her male friend's cat because he was jealous that she was having dinner with another male, he used to sneak under her house to see who was visiting her etc etc etc - a real fuckin psycho asshole]

14 Apart from psycho asshole there I've never picked a fight but have been in a few fistfights in highschool. I'm really tall and it was always the shorties with something to prove that picked me. In all those fights I've never 'lost'... heheh two hits... [me hitting you, you hitting the floor]

15 I thought I was queen shit of turd mountain in the last two years of highschool and had a rep as a toughie although never really did anything seriously bad to deserve it. Although I guess a few fist fights and being in detention a lot for skipping classes helped.

16 I've known my bestest friend for 18 years, we met in highschool and we've never had an argument.

17 I hated my next bestest friend and her group in highschool. We've been friends for the last 13 years

18 We've almost always had a cat in the family but I'd still like to have a dog.

19 His Lordship is the first cat that I've ever purchased. All our other cats have adopted us.

20 His Lordship's real name is really funny but I can't tell you that either cuz enough people know it blah blah see 1.

21 I screen calls when I'm home. The important people in my life know this and will chatter a bit on the machine until I pick up. I hate being bugged by telesales people but I will be polite when I tell them to bugger off as they're human too.

22 I won't answer the door if I see hawkers through the doorpeep.

23 I've been waxing since I was 14 and hardly grow any hair anymore and I LOVE the feeling of being waxed.

24 I love the smell of the inside of a washing machine and the inside of a M&Ms packet

25 I know what I want to be when I grow up but I don't know how to get there.

26 This frustrates the hell out of me! The longer it goes on the stronger the urge is.

27 I think I'm sexual deviant. I'm not normal. I've had over 12,410 orgasms and want to have my own bondage dungeon.

28 Further to that, there's not a lot I haven't seen or done.

29 I have more porn than anyone I know and have actually discovered some boring porn.

30 I can't stand it when people stop and have a chat in the middle of a busy walkway at the mall and I have to restrain myself from making snide comments as I pass.

31 I hate the way other people drive like maniacs.

32 My biggest pet peev is bad customer service in a customer service industry. Drives me batshit!

33 That being said I strive for customer service excellence and won 4 CEO awards for it in 2004. YAY me!

34 I'd love to be an events manager or wedding planner. So up my alley organising all the little details.

35 Like Kate, I'd love to open my own restaurant [or cafe or bar]

36 In fact I agree with Kate on her points 11 [although I haven't cooked for the last 6 months as my kitchen is in the process of being renovated], 15, 16, 17, 18, 25, 29 [wore out The Breakfast Club on video twice so had to buy it on DVD], 31, 34, 36, 38, 39 oh hell just about all of them... she is my doppelganger after all

37 I'm scared of twisting my ankle and falling down the stairs. For some reason I think about it a lot.

38 I don't understand politics. It's all shit to me.

39 I can wiggle my middle toe independently of the others. On both feet.

40 I love Lost and Survivor especially since I have a deserted island fantasy. I'm not really sure why it appeals to me so much but I'd love to be on a deserted island [or own my own island so I can pretend!]

41 I love puzzles, brain teasers, crosswords, riddles and secrets.

42 I find it really hard to make top 5 lists of movies or music because I like so many so I have to redefine it into top 5 right now or top 5 of all time because they're very different lists.

43 I fuckin like to fuckin swear, a fuckin lot.

44 I'm not religious although I'd like to believe that there's something out there watching over us and guiding us. Whether it's "God" or spirit or Gaia or whatever. Guess that makes me sortof agnostic.

45 I believe that people should have the right to believe in whatever entity they want and not be judged or attacked for it.

46 That being said I don't understand holy wars. I don't understand how people have the strength of belief in something they can't prove. And in some ways I'm envious of that faith.

47 I’m scared of World War III happening in my lifetime.

48 I could quite happily get cosmetic surgery. No problemo.

49 I develop crushes too easily.

50 I hate it when people talk at you and don't listen to what you're saying. Like they're just waiting for to finish talking so that they can speak again.

51 Out of all the superpowers there are I'd like to be able to fly and read minds.

52 I can't live without my sunglasses

53 I must have at least one coffee in the morning or else the people in my vicinity just aren't safe. I am not a morning person. It's a 'rule' that's joked about at work - Do not ask CG dumb questions before first coffee.

54 I sleep really badly and have extremely vivid dreams all night and wake up feeling unrefreshed. I used to sleep walk a lot and occasionally have the odd wander around the house when I'm asleep. Usually about once a year [or more if I'm seriously stressed] I've been a bad sleeper since birth.

55 I always remember my dreams and keep a dream journal

56 The weirdest recurring dream I have is that I can touch my toes while sitting with my legs outstretched, or that I can do the splits and do that. Of course I have the usual plane crashing, falling off cliffs and sex dreams as recurring dreams but I think that’s the oddest one of the recurring ones.

57 I've experienced deja vu from past dreams so I sort of believe in my dreams as I have dreamt of things happening in the future which have come true. I certainly pay attention to my dreams. Very spooky that.

58 I really want my mum to be a grandmother before she dies.

59 I'm scared of losing her to this brain tumour too quickly. It tears my heart to shreds to even think of losing her. While she drives me crazy sometimes I can't imagine what I'd do without her.

60 I’m also scared of physically not being able to have a child

61 I was pregnant when I was 19 and was beaten until I miscarried and since then I’ve had troubles with the ole womanly parts which is why I’m worried about 60. And I’m not getting any younger so my fertility is diminishing with every day that passes.

62 At the same time, kids can really shit me and I wonder how I’ll cope being a parent. I think I’ll be a good mother but I wonder how my patience will hold up considering it’s my own kid.

63 I hope my child turns out nothing like me.

64 And I really want a boy, I think I’d be a little bit disappointed if I had a girl if I’m honest with myself.

65 I cry at sad movies, happy movies too! Small kindnesses make me cry too. Just can't help myself - crybaby ;}

66 I still miss smoking pot. Even dreamed about sparking up last night. damn those vivid dreams.

67 I’m not as clever as I pretend to be. I often wonder how much smoking pot for so long has done to my brain and I thank god for the coping /cover up skills I’ve developed

68 I have a tattoo and want more

69 I love being a smartass and I usually get away with it as I do it in a cheeky matey matey way.

70 I love peanut butter and black current jam sandwiches, preferably on toast.

71 I love any sort of chocolate and peanut/peanut butter combination like Peanut butter M&M's Butterfingers, Reeces Pieces Peanut butter cups

72 love pancakes with bacon and maple syrup

73 I don't like Kiwi fruit [unless it's really sour and tangy], lychees, water chestnut or lamb

74 I have a facial and a pedicure every Sunday and change the toe paint then too.

75 I try on every cute guy's last name... just in case it rings true.

76 I love reading the Sunday paper in the sun with the cat on my lap. True bliss

77 I don't like singing in public or in front of people, to the point where I often mouth Happy Birthday, but I love to sing at home or in the car when I know that no one is listening.

78 I'm a bit dyslexic, even when I type but because I can type fast, the delete key is often in use.

79 I really want to drive a Mac truck, just once.

80 I hated school, so much I can’t even express it. I laugh whenever people say that school times was the best times in their lives. No no, not for me. I couldn’t wait to get out and every minute I’ve spent out of school has been my best time.

81 I won't leave the house without my eye makeup but I rarely wear lipstick.

82 I don’t like how I look without makeup and can be lazy about taking it off at night

83 I've been in 6 car accidents, 3 in which I was driving, two of which I was at fault. No serious injuries in any of them thanks to seat belts. The closest, most nastiest one was with a friend driving in a 4 wheel drive and she flipped the car a couple of times and we ended up upside down. I had only just put my seat belt back on as the Coca Cola had fallen on the floor and I couldn't reach with my seatbelt on. I've been VERY lucky. The 'funny' thing is that once we'd landed, the tape deck was the only thing still working and it was still playing and to this day I can't listen to Jimmy Barnes when he sings "River Deep, Mountain high", gives me the willys.

84 I always make a wish on a falling star, wishbone or when I'm blowing out candles.

85 I hate ironing and avoid it whenever possible

86 I almost never make my bed. I reckon that I'm only going to mess it up in a couple of hours anyway. BUT I do love fresh sheets and that's probably the only time my bed resembles a made bed. heheh although if there's someone coming over that needs impressing I can manage to drag the covers in an orderly fashion

87 I'm always on time or 5 minutes early. I'm a real stickler for being on time and if I'm not going to make it on time for some reason I always call. I hate being late!

88 Speaking of time, I've had the same alarm clock since I was 8

89 I don’t know how to forgive or forget. I wish oh wish I did.

90 I often want to runaway and not tell anyone. Just runaway and forget about everything. Sometimes being an adult sucks ass.

91 I love playing cards

92 I think I’m boring but I know I’m not

93 I wish that people could see me the way I see myself. Well certain aspects of me that I don’t share for whatever self preservation bullshit I spin myself.

94 I wish I could just let go and BE

95 I’m shit scared of flight turbulence. To the point where I’ll come off the plane with bleeding palms from digging my nails in my palms from clenching my fists so tightly. Stoopid thing is that I know that there’s nothing I can do about it and I know I‘m being dumb, it’s just a control thing.

96 By the same token, I’m not a good car passenger. It’s because I’m not driving.

97 There is no such thing as third chances with me. You only get one second chance and after that…zip. No third time lucky because in my experiences there's been no such thing.

98 I don’t like walking into a crowded room alone. Makes me really uncomfortable.

99 Like TBC’s recent post, I often feel like the odd one out. I think it stems from a lot of things but that’s a whole other post

100 I can't pee if someone is within earshot. It's just physically impossible :]