Wednesday, June 29, 2005

I've just been to an amazing sculpture exhibition opening. I love these 'dos' just for the champers and nibblies, and schmoozing with arty farty folk. Caught up with some people I haven't seen in years which was very neato bandito. There were some very cool carrara marble pieces that I would have gladly taken home but they were a tad expensive [and heavy, I couldn't fit them in my pocket]. I know one of the artists and the other is an italian [and quite a bit cute] who has been working in Oz for the last couple of months and is due to return home in a couple of weeks. He had a series of these cute little 'warrior angels' in porcelain and bronze. I'd forgotten how much fun the arts world can be :]

What a difference a week makes. Last week I had the shittiest week and this week is great! Polar opposites in all ways. Damn I'm in a gooood mood!

Heard something interesting today which may or not be true. Apparently there's been a study done of women and their dress habits relating to their cycle. The study showed that you could tell what stage of their cycle a woman was in by what she was wearing. The main point went back to the basic human need to reproduce. Women who were in the early to ovulation stage tended to dress more provocatively, revealing just a dash more cleavage or legs than they normally would - their theory was that women were looking for a mate during that time. And just a dash mind you, it's not as if a woman dresses like a slut just the slightest dash more alluring than their everyday uniform. It was interesting because we started analysing all the females in the room.

Well I'm off to watch Black Books - go turn on your TV now!

FlyGuy where are you? come baaaack!

Now playing: Chemical Brothers and Krafty Kuts mp3 mix
Now reading: Night over Water - Ken Follett [pretty good so far]

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Let me take some of the punches for you tonight

Boy I've had a fun day - no usual sarcasm attached! It really was fun! AND I got work done, hope the rest of the week is this way. Anyway just a quickie [everytime I type that I want to type quiche teehee] because I'm heading out for a bit. Just had to share cuz I'm in an up mood dammit! Might be back tonight, might not.

Coming soon:
Top 10 fave things in glorious colour
New [financial] Year resolutions - I've been inspired by The Big Cheese again with his rocks

Monday, June 27, 2005

Somebody stole my oven!!!!!

Granted it was an old oven but geez! I've been ripping out my kitchen and it's one of those old upright stove and oven thingys. sucko to the person who ripped me off because it was super grotty and I was only going to get rid of it anyway. They probably did me a favour by taking it off my hands but it just leave an uncomfortable feeling. It's the sort of thing that makes me wish I had a man in the house just to feel safe. ugh can't believe I'm admitting that but it's like the time I sprung this guy peeping in the window - another cringeworthy story.

I have to come back a bit before I get to Peeping Tom. I was living in my Dad's house while he was os. I used to giggle every night when his next door neighbour would shrill Flllllllluuuuffffy!! Swwwweeeetums! fluffyfluffyfluffyfluuuuuufyyyyyy! So when I was after my cat I'd stand at the back screen door and whisper puddypuddypuddddy. So one dark night I'm doing this at the front door and the porch light or hallway light wasn't on so it was dark. I'm stading there whispering puuuuuddypuddypuddyyyyy for at least 2-3 minutes when I see a shadow move and hear a scrape of a foot on the gravel path outside the livingroom window to my left. whathefa?

I open the screendoor to have a look and there's this dude just staring at me at the bottom of the steps about 10 paces away. First thing that springs to my lips... Can I fucking help you?!! He bolts away and I SLAM the door. I stood there for about half an hour just looking out the peephole. It really freaked me out and you can guess how much sleep I got. I guess guys have a use afterall ;}

It's that afterwards feeling that I have with someone stealing the oven. The fact that they came right up to my front door and whisked it away. You know the stupid thing is that it's actually been gone for a couple of days and I can't exactly remember when! I only realised tonight but I'm pretty sure it's been gone for most of the weekend. It's been there for a while so I spose it's fair game or the body corporate has come and taken it away but... who knows!

It could be karma again. I stole someones terracotta goose out of their front yard when I was about 14. I walked past it every day for 2 years. When they say karma comes back 3 times I guess the oven is three times bigger than that goose. Although at the time I stole it I dropped it and broke it's beak off and I thought that was the karma for flogging the goose. Of course it was dark and I couldn't actually find the beak. I found it about 6 months later close to where I'd dropped it - the goose smashed a year later by accident. Just wasn't meant to be mine.

So while I should say thanks to whoever flogged it I'm still a little creeped out. I'll be fine, in fact I'm off to bed. Another sooper long day today and another one on the way tomorrow. nighty night!

now playing: the radio
Now reading: Flight over water - Ken Follet [new book I bought the other day. pretty good so far. LOVED lying down with Lions again... dunno why I dig that book so much]

Sunday, June 26, 2005

You and I collide

I just wanted to see if this works
I had a really productive weekend
I was a domestic goddess today
I have a really busy week ahead
I'm off to bed

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Pilfering a post

I'm stealing this from Steppin on Toes cuz I think it's neat:

So true. Here's some tips I found from a guy who's supposedly had tons of experience with women. Guys live and learn:


1. Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house...they run around in their underwear just like we do.

2. DON'T CHEAT ON THEM. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be dirt.

3. Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat.

4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.

5. Don't refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous.

6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.

7. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms.

8. If you don't sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did.

8.5 If you DO sleep with them, don't tell your friends that you did.

9. You can be dirty minded in private, really...most of them are not offended by it...

10. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales.

11. Most of them don't mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a pussy..

11. Do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay all the time!

12. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts, and a really pretty ring. Even if it's not a serious relationship.

13. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely.

14. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to beat the shit out of him.

15. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer.

16. Never ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.

17. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.

18. You're dead meat if you can not get along with their pets, parents, and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.

19. Don't flirt with their moms...that's just freaky.

20. Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like shit, so be understanding.

21. If you don't like the way they drive, you do it.

22. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend.

23. Don't stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you.

24. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked.

25. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.

26. Memorize their god damn birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life.

27. Don't marinade the cologne, but smell good.

28. Don't give her something stupid for her birthday or Christmas or Valentine's day. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful. Jewelry is always nice.

29. If you think the relationship isn't going to last, don't wait to find out. It will only hurt you more if you draw it out.

30. After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond.

It's this one thing you did

I don't really remember writing most of that last coupla paragraphs... can you say schmammered? I'm half tempted to delete them but I won't just to be true to the blog. I remember wanting to write "His name was Eric, he was a show pony, yellow feathers in his hair...etc" ala copacobana. I'm not really sure where i was going with what I wrote last night but we'll revisit it shortly.

Don't really remember stumbling into bed last night. I'd had a few beeries at the pub, no dinner and polished off 3/4 of the Tia Maria plus some coneage. I just remember that it was getting really hard to type because of the typos. I woke up at 4:30am with the spins and yakked my guts up although there was nothing left in my stomach. But when my body decides everyone out of the pool, it's every last one out. Couldn't stop puking til about 6am so man am I tired. I've been at work since 10am and I've just got home. Knackered!

Surprisingly though I don't feel too hungover. Just achy and tired. Got another boring Saturday night planned because I'm just to tired to do anything. So I'm going to be less exciting than you Kate in that I'm in my PJs at 5:49pm and have my tv schedule planned [reading is just too brain straining at present]. Wish I had some snacky things but I'm trying to be good so there's nothing in the house. mmm snacky things.

Anyway getting back to Eric, I can't really remember what kind of point i was going to make about him but I'm sure it was good. One of my flaws is that I can get a bit single minded about a guy that I can't have. It's funny reading my diaries because in vol 1 it's Eric and part 2 it's Danny. I can't remember if I mentioned this one page that I really want to scan for you because it just looks so funny. Another very drunken evening rambling about Danny. But I need to reread vol 1 so we'll get back to that.

heheh the Tia Maria is still up here... not quite sure if I can stomach hair of the dog to tell the truth... but we'll see ;}

Well His Lordship is demanding that his cuisine be presented so I'd better hop to it. Gotta go and warm up the couch.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Til I break at the bend [aka peanuts and chocolate oh my!]

thank fuck it's friday! The fact that I'll probably be at work tomorrow, Saturday, sucks but it's still Friday YAY! Lots of work to do and not enough time to do it in. Oh well I've always got you to talk to if I get bored.

Why can't I find a man like His Lordship? I'm so lucky to have him. He is so damn cute that I can't resist him [and don't want to] and just loves me and can't get enough of me. smoochy beastie :]

Dunno what the go is but I had the second 'physical' dream of the week last night. I dreamt that this tall blond hunk who was my man in the dream was dry humping me in front of all my friends. What the hell is that all about [apart the fact that I'm majorly horny]. Did I mention that my porn collection is bigger than my brothers... but I don't think we'll go there today.

today's tale is sponsored by Tia Maria

I've got such a neat segue into today's travel tale. One thing before I start - I'd forgotten that there were two volumes to my travel diary and that I've been reading part two. As a consequence I've gotta reread volume 1 but man do I have some stories to tell. Can you say shenanigans??

Anyhoo I went to the grog shop on the way home from the pub tonight [did I mention how much I love friday arvos at the pub and yeah yeah I got a lift home before you start nagging] and the treasures there have a special on at the moment... two bottles for $50 from a selected range of spirits so dammit I had to get a Tia Maria and a Smirnoff [thinking of brewing a 'green' voddy mwahhaha]. The only other choices were Jack Daniels which I can't drink anymore after getting alcohol poisoning a zillion years ago or some cruddy rum. Let's just get this straight - I do not drink rum. Rum has a really bad effect on me in that I get really out of control and that's not a good thing when you're an amazon like me! I'll probably tell you some tales about that another time because it's in the travel diary vol 1... I'm just reliving it now ugh! Man I'm tanked...

So in addition to my two bottles of Cab Merlot I just had to get the voddy and Tia Maria. Tia Maria and I have a special relationship that started 12 years ago when I started travelling. I left home at 18 after finishing year 12, I decided I didn't want to to go uni yet I wanted adventure and to "find myself". Oh boy did I find myself. So I left Oz with a one way ticket to Holland, $420 in the bank and no credit cards. I did have a job to go to, but that's it. I sure did have an adventure and I will share I promise. I didn't return home until a year and 8 months later but we'll get to that eventually.

Back to Tia Maria. I left Oz and started my job as a nanny in Holland. The first couple of months were a bit sad and lonely but then I made a really cool friend who I'm still in contact with. She is South African and has since moved to Sydney. Anyway we started discovering the dutch night life together. One very drunken night we literally stumbled into Cafe De Sax which was a dark little bar in one of the city side streets. We fast became regulars at the bar and eventually we each and our own glasses and a 'usual' behind the bar.
Mine was Tia Maria in a heavy bottomed Ballantines whisky glass with ice. When I left holland a year later the bar staff gave me 'my' Ballantines glass and that's what I'm drinking my Tia Maria on heart and star shaped ice right now. soooo good but scary when I'm reading this diary... some serious flashbacks happenin.

Damn Tia Maria and Snickers go well together - try it sometime, trust me!

But shall we talk about the bar staff? That's where the real juiciness lies ;} i know you want the juiciness. His name was Eric. There was just something about him that made me hot from the first time that we met. He wasn't overly hot but there was just that something alpha maleish about him y'know. [if all guys in Tennesse talk like Sawyer then I'm marrying a Tennesee man. Anyone that spoke to me in that accent could get me to do anything, he would be my master grrrrr...]

Anyway Eric didn't give me the time of day which made me want him all the more. But of course i wore him down and we fucked in the back of the bar, in the kitchen. I remember it so clearly because it wasn't what I expected. Do you really want to hear the story? I'm pretty pissed and I'm finding it hard to type for once... maybe I'll tell you tomorrow. Hell it's my blog and I'll do what I want. Just too damn pissed to type... HAHAA for you cuz I'm just not in a typing mood. And let me interupt with I want Donuts! sorry I'm wasted, I'm sorry

blah de blah ha ha!

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Carried the luggage like a bag of bricks, feels like it's holding me down again

Well I'm feeling much better today thanks. As you may have gathered I wasn't a happy gal yesterday. It was probably the second worst day I've ever had in my job and I've been there for 8 and a half years now. The first was probably about 3 weeks before my EX boss left... butthead. That's a pretty good record but oh man talk about a crappy day. I thought I was under siege there for a while, I could almost hear explosions and the rattle of machine gun fire in the distance. And the thing that shits me is that a lot of what I was under fire for had nothing to do with me.

BUT I do admit that I fucked up one bit. Just one ;} And boy o boy do I hate fucking up. Almost as much as I hate being wrong. It's probably the control freak in me. And it wasn't just a little fuck up either... missed something to the tune of $50k! yeah no little bikkies there but manged to fix the problem. Dunno how it's going to work next year but we can cross that bridge when it's flaming in front of me. That's if I'm not Elsewhere. But it all motivates me to work harder and ensure that this does not happen again. I've got another meeting with the boss and one of the team leaders to sort out some stuff so we'll see how that goes. I think it should all be cool but I'll be prepared for everything.

I've discovered how badly I can beat myself up and it's a bit scary. Not that anything bad happened last night [did some serious cat cuddling for stress relief] but I really don't let myself rest. Even know there's this little voice in the back of my head going fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!! The major drama is over with and I'm still stewing on it. I'll forget it all for a bit and then it'll all come back with a slap that I can almost feel physically. Makes me cringe and I beat myself up some more. heheh as Madam Milo would say "Build a bridge and get over it" okay okay I'm building already.

Tell me something... where have all you new people come from? My tracker thingamaboby has gone off the scale! woooaaahhhh [hi out there!] Begs the question "why" but anyhoo... Welcome and I can't really say enjoy because it's usually all crap anyway but hey you're here so get comfy cuz there's usually lots to read and you're choosing to read it. poor fools, little do they realise... mwaahahahahaaaa ;}

His Lordship is having his manic hour. His eyes get really big and dart this way and that. Then he'll run the stairs and pounce on his scratching pole and scratch the bejebus out of it then run back upstairs and pounce on "his" chair up here in the spare room and scratch the bejezus out of it and then dart out of the room again. His scratching pole is industrial strength as he buzzsawed the last one in half. No shit. The current pole is one of those heavy based orange road construction poles with 2 layers of industrial loop pile carpet Liquid Nailsed together so that the carpet is like a sleeve which can be removed. I'm going to have to get new carpet for it soon as he has already shredded through the first layer! His chair up here was going to be an upholstry project and is covered in aquamarine 60's boucle fabric and it's the only bit of furniture he's allowed to claw. And he's good. Doesn't claw anything apart from his stuff. such a good beastie :]

I'm being so Klassy [with a capital K] - discovered that I hadn't quaffed the leftovers from the last event so I've got about half a bottle of Half Mile Creek's Cab Merlot in my Heckle and Jeckle jumbo glass - holds half a bottle of red nicely!

You know I really enjoyed telling you about my near death experiance the other day, very cathartic. A bit weird considering that there's more people reading than I thought before but it's all good. I think I'll tell you more juicy tales from my travelling diary. I dunno if you have the patience to sit through another zillion page post from me but hey you're the one here reading so I guess so. I still owe you part two from last week and I'm getting there stop pestering me! ;} It's easier to bare my soul to a computer than it is to a human. Lets just hope we never meet eh? Anyway I'm going to tease you and not tell you any stories today because I need to do a bit of work first. Maybe later after I've finished all my wine ;}

Now playing: Depeche Mode [I feeeeeeeeellll youuuuuuuu]
Still reading: Lying down with Lions - Ken Follett [damn I dig this book]

Wednesday, June 22, 2005


Fuckin cranky.
Had a REALLY bad day.
My boss made me cry.
It's official, I'm an idiot.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Slowly forgive my lie, lying to save me

wowsers have I been busy! Yesterday was just insane. Got to work at 8am didn't get home til 10:30pm! Didn't even have time to blog that's how busy!

I spose you're going to start accusing me of being a teaser because I haven't finished part 2 of my other post or sharing any of my travelling diary stories. I think we'll go with the diary story because I'm still not happy with posting part 2 yet. So get comfy kids because we could be here a while.

About 10 years ago I was doing the travelling thing. I was on a little rustic island working split shifts 9am-12pm and 7pm-1am in a restaurant by day and went out drinking all night and a bit of sleeping in between. Anyway after the late shift I'd go and meet friends at a bar called Black Barts and we'd go out from there. I was on my way to meet them, walking through the courtyard, when I heard THE most cheesiest pickup line I've ever been graced with. "I want to butter your buns".


On a normal day this guy would have just been invisible but I'd already had some pre-drinkie drinkies and it totally cracked me up [I'm easily amused]. He took it as a good sign and followed me into the bar pestering me while I was looking for my mates. We went up to the bar and he bought me a drink and wore me down. His said his name was Mark and that he was an Greek American. Anyway cutting to the chase - we went looking for somewhere to do the wild thing and got kicked out of his hotel by the manager as only paying guests were allowed in the rooms. My place was out because my flatmate was in. So out wandering the nearby streets we discover a newly constructed church which was still under construction and kinda out of the way so there was little light around. It wasn't intentionally sacreligious but we were just drunk, horny and I'm ashamed to say it seemed like the best venue at the time. Anyhoo about an hour later we went outside for a smoke and were sitting on a waist high stone wall which is when things proceeded to get really weird.

The wall we were sitting on was one of two between the church and the dirt road leading back to town. I lit my smoke and he said "I think that's my lighter" and I told him it wasn't. We were mucking around earlier with lighters so I thought he was playing around again. He said "Good otherwise I'd have to kill you". Me thinking it's a joke said "So do you want to rape me then kill me or kill me then rape me" [fuck i say stoopid things] and he pulls out one of those straight shaving razors. You know the old fashioned flip out ones that you sharpen on a strip of leather or something ala The Color Purple. He kinda flinched it at my throat and I pushed his arm away from me. He said "Nobody touches my blade" at which point I had no idea if he was joking but I didn't care. I jumped off the wall and started backing away from him towards the second wall and the road. I just kept saying "hey I was joking, I was joking" and he was just sitting looking at me. I got to the second wall and he jumped off the the wall and started walking towards me. I don't know if he was saying anything because I vaulted over the second wall and took off running. I kinda lost my mind and just ran.

Like in those horror movies, as I was getting close to the tar road when I tripped and fell in the dirt. I looked back but he was gone. I kept running and crying til I got back to the bar strip and stopped in at the first one to assess the damage. When I fell I gravel rashed the whole side of my right leg from ankle to thigh because I was wearing a skirt. I knew the doormen at the bar and they took me to the office and gave me shots of whisky as they cleaned me up and picked out the gravel. Love those two burly blokes for being so tender. They patched me up and I limped home.

I told everyone that I came off my little motorscooter.

And I've never told anyone what really happened. Except my diary and now you. I'm not really sure why, it's not something that I'm particularly embarassed about. I guess I just feel foolish and stupid and it's not something that really comes into conversation that often ;}. I don't like to think about the 'what ifs' anymore and I know I was dumb because it could really have ended badly. Then again it could all have been a warped joke who knows. In my diary I titled this one Death defying, Karma or penance for being a slut. I'll leave you to ponder that.

Now playing: Alice in Chains - Dirt
Still reading: Lying down with lions - Ken Follett [bought two new KF books today YAY!]

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Get her jacked up on some cheap champagne, we'll let the good times all roll out

Well I'm officially a Godmother. I've had fun all afternoon doing my best "Don't mess with the Godmother" scraping my nails on my chin ala The Godfather. Once again I spent most of the afternoon mucking around with the kids than particpating in adult conversation. borrring! ;} I didn't realise that there was a little certificate issued to the Godparents. Pretty neato bandito. There were many jokes made about me spontaneously combusting and me not holding the baby during baptism just in case the water gets on me... lets just say that I'm not religious. I'm more an agnostic than an atheist. I believe in a higher power but not "God" per se. spirits, guiding forces, karma whatever you want to call it. I call it universe. A more pagan whole earth sky universe view rather than an entity God. Makes it interesting to say all of those things in church about repenting my sins and embracing the church. not really sure about that.

Had heaps of fun last night. Made the most awesome bracelet for Gretch. It was so good that I made one for me, I'll have to take a pic because DAMN I'm good! We ended up playing quarters [my fave drinking game mwaahaahaaaa] Somone made the rule that you have to dare or double dare [our definition of double dare is dare two people for the price of one] if you win. I was on a lucky streak because i kept winning. As it was Ms Bees Knees birthday on Saturday, she ordered us to "do one treacherous, immoral or downright nefarious thing 'in the name of the Bees Knees!' a proclamation for which, by the way, you will all bellow loudly with fists in the air, punctuating your allegiance to me at the completion of your dastardly deed". Who am I to argue? So as I'd double dared, I got the boys to strip down - poor things it was about 3 degrees C last night, and run down the street yelling Happy Birthday Ms Beees Kneeeees!!!!! SO funny! They did it which was even funnier because they both wore a sock to uhhh keep warm. Happy Birthday Bees :]

Met up with a guy I used to work with at the theatre at the do on Saturday. He hasn't changed a bit, still damn fiiine. But with bimbo Barbie firmly clutching his arm as if I was going to steal him right away from her. Can you say insecure? what.EVER.

Once again I need a refund on my weekend. Didn't do anything I said I would. I've still got a bit of time tonight but do you think I could be bothered? noooooo... I'm thinking of going to bed early, cranking up the electric blanket cuz it's bloody freezing tonight and reading my book. I need to squeeze every last drop of laziness out of my weekend! It's gonna be a big week next week so I need to rest up ;}

Now playing: my dancypants mp3 mix
Still reading: Lying down with Lions - Ken Follett

Friday, June 17, 2005

Pre-occupied without you

I'm in a pretty good mood, must be the booooz. Damn I love friday arvos at the pub. I've had such a busy day so I've kinda crashed since I've gotten home. Still got work to do tonight but I couldn't be bothered.

Got a busy weekend, Gretch is off to QLD which sucks. She's having a farewell do on Saturday so I'm going to make her something. Then on Sunday I'm officially becoming godmother. YAY! [snap Rosa!] Poor kid's got the worst name in the world but oh well.

I want to pick up on something Kate was talking about... resolutions. It's funny because it was just this morning that i was thinking of having "New financial Year" resolutions. It's the perfect time as it's just around the corner so I've got a couple in mind and I'm going to try and stick to them. I've never kept mine either [of course, we're twins] but I think that if I'm 'accountable' to you then that will certainly help keep me on track. Hell it's only day to day anyway so I'm going to think about precisely what I want to do and I'll be lettin ya know.

I want him, I want him bad. I don't even need to tell you. It's the little things that kill me. Like when we're setting up and he just opens a beer and puts it in front of me. Remembers what I like and all... doesn't even have to ask. Catching him looking at me out of the corner of my eye. But they are only little things and I'm not going to read anything into it. I'll remain quietly observant.

Anyhoo I'm gonna crash, I will get around to part two on the weekend really I will.

Happy Friday everyone!

Thursday, June 16, 2005

I'm always afraid that you'll go away from me

Very weird and horrendous day today. Had a half day work planning session with half of my section today. There were some interesting ideas it was just such bad timing as I have some tight deadlines at the moment so my mind was on my current work.

Got back to work and got an email from my bro saying that our Ma had totally lost her hearing and can I go and see her during lunch? Great just what I needed today [sorry Ma]. My Ma has an acoustic neuroma which has resulted in a gradual hearing impairment in the last 8 years. It's slowly declined and she's had about 15-20% hearing over the last couple of years. She thought it was due to Menieres Disease which has the same symptoms and she also has a family history of it. It's like having severe tinitus and vertigo attacks. She was diagnosed with the tumour about 10 months ago. Anyway I left at 1pm to go and see her and she wasn't home. I let myself in and there was her bag, purse, mobile phone and hearing aid controller and no Ma.

I waited around a bit and rang my bro and then she turns up. Went to the gym ;}. So had a cuppa and she's probably only got 5% now. She says that she can hear like a metallic rumble in the background from far away. I think she's putting on a brave face for me. She's got to rethink her whole life if she is permanently deaf. She was 'coping' with 20% but this makes everything different. What the hell happens now? I'm at a total loss. There's some serious surgery ahead of her if she decides to go down that path. She's been pretty resistant so far as the potential side effects 6-12 months after the surgery is over is part facial paralysis amongst other nasties.

I hate what's happening to her. I hate that I'm powerless to do anything. I hate that she's lonely. I hate what it's done to her. She's always been an extreeeeemely social person and this has been the worst thing for her as she's lost the ability to easily communicate with people. She doesn't know enough signlanguage to be able to fluently communicate with deaf folks and couldn't hear enough for hearing people - kinda stuck in hearing limbo. Although she is pretty good at lip reading. It sucks how many people have deserted my Ma over the last 8 years. Because it's too hard for THEM to communicate with her. Fuck that shit, how difficult do they think it is for my Ma? They never took the time to try. Farewell fuckwits I say... just hurts. If this hearing loss is permanently we're going to have to look at a different way of communicating as my bro and Pa will have to learn sign language to get up to speed with us. So much has to change...

I've never seen my Ma depressed and it makes me feel horrible. She's openly said that if she goes through with the gamma knife surgery and the dreaded side effects appear then she'd rather be dead. I respect her decision in that regard. I don't like it and it's going to be very hard to deal with as you never want your Ma or Pa to die. We've got an agreement that if she ever does decide that it's time to go that she gives us the opportunity to say goodbye. Both of my parents believe in quality of life rather than quanity and have instructed my bro and I not to put them on life support should anything ever happen. I respect that. I don't necessarily want them to go but I realise where they're coming from and will respect their wishes. It's like the Terry Shivo thing. I can see both sides of the story there, it's a tragic tale with her the innocent victim.

While I'm on the death subject - talked to MrP today and Mister Cat [he's a feline and that's his real name] got run over yesterday. Bit sad cuz he was pretty cool cat. Poor MrP was home when it happened and rushed him to the vet but it was too late. He said that he didn't think he would be as upset as he was. He's a secretly sensitive chap so I hope he's going to be ok.

She wasn't emotional when I saw her at lunch but I think she's putting on a brave face for me. My bro lives with her so I'm glad that she's not alone tonight. I feel so helpless because there is nothing I can do about this whole stoopid situation.

So I head back to work and of course who do I spy at the back door but eyecamdy and norbs. First thing he says to me as I'm walking toward him is 'are you alright?' I hadn't said anything and i had sunnies on so he couldn't see my eyes and still he knew *sigh* Anyhoo I told him 'no not really' and he asked why. I told him that I didn't think I could tell him because I was going to start crying. I was really close to tears so I just told him about the tumour and that she'd lost her hearing and he was so sweet. I just had to go cuz I was gonna start blubbering and that's the last thing I want to do in front of him. I'll be seeing him tomorrow at the function so I'm warning you now that I'll be gushing about him tomorrow. One of two little rays of sunshine today...

And number two ray of sunshine - great news! Douglas Wood has been released and is in good hands! I cried on my toast this morning when I was watching the news. He looks great and the emotion from his brothers was touching. Can't wait to see his press conference. They're already drumming up controversy surrounding his rescue on the news tonight... just let him come home in peace for farks sake...

You know I could interpret all of this as another sign for the Stay Side... now how did that dance step go again?

Now playing: Puddle of Mudd
Really enjoying: Lying down with lions - Ken Follett

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Now I'm gonna have to find a way to take the knife out of my back....

Well I'm fucking fuming!!!!! My EX boss has left and is still causing me shit. I had a 2 hour meeting with my big boss who basically said that fuckwit said I was doing shit work and nothing was up to scratch. "Disappointed in my recent performance" were the words he used... Fuckin liar!! Do I have to be dead to have proven I've worked hard... geez I'm so angry about this. I sat down and went over all of my big boss' concerns and managed to stomp every one of them with evidencial backups too so FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!!

Just makes me more determined to work harder and ensure that everything is top notch. I'll show you buddy...

Well that said I don't really feel like posting part two of yesterday's post cuz I'm seriously fucked off at the moment and not in a deep and meaning full mood. I think I need to learn some proper stress management techniques because booze and drugs ain't the most productive. All I feel like now is half a bottle of voddy and a zillion cones. I'll sit and talk to you for a bit so we'll see eh?

Coupla TV things for any Aussies out there - testing testing *feedback whine* is this thing on? The return of Black Books is on tonight 9pm on ABC!! If you haven't seen this show then I ORDER you to watch it OR ELSE!!! This means you there. It is one of the funniest things on TV. Then again I'm easily amused so it could just be me. I just ache from laughing so hard after every episode. Scary thing is that I know a 'Bernard' heheh he's one of my best mates ;} You have been warned.

AND one of my favourite chick flicks Never Been Kissed is on tonight. That one is a bit sentimental to me. A couple of years ago I had a particularly bad birthday and ended up alone that evening so I downed two bottles of champagne, copious amounts of doobage, watched chick flicks [10 things I hate about you, Bridget Jones Diary and Never Been Kissed - the ultimate chickflicks] and cried my eyes out all night. Tragic I know. Anyway there's one bit in the movie that never fails to crack me up - bit of stoner humour. She's very stoned, having a d&m to her brother on the phone, eating a pie. All of a sudden she pipes up with "Oh my god, somebody ate my entire pie!" eeeeheheheheheh... I have one of those moments most mornings after I've had my first coffee at work because I swear I only get one sip and then it just disappears... mmmmm cofffeeeeeee

Had an interesting insight to the whole going elsewhere thing. Someone commented that at the time when all the turmoil was going on I was ready to just up and go and that THE job [the one that I would have written for myself if I wasn't doing my dream job] presented itself. But then circumstances changed, fuckwit got another job which was the only solution for me and my team's problems with him. THE job was made no more as the company reshuffled internally. So the fact that I can't find the right job elsewhere now could be a sign from the universe that I should stick around here for a while as new opportunites begin to present themselves. There's the improved work front, the eyecamdy possibility, my new kitchen. Just one more argument for the Stay side... *sigh* I can't see anything happening within the next couple of months with the first two so does that mean that I hang around for another couple of months to see what happens or do I continue to look elsewhere? And doe see doe your partner :]

Well nope, not going to get all heavy tonight, you've had enough to read for your daily dose I think. I need to relax so part 2 tomorrow I promise. It's half written but I want to think about it a bit. I've got the ole blog paranoia again that someone will find me out. On one hand it doesn't bother me because it's all here in black and white [well not really but y'know] and it saves me explaining things - they can just read it all. But I guess it depends who finds it... And like I was saying yesterday, I find it really hard to open up to people and there's probably only 2 other people apart from you who know this much about me. When I really think about the possible people who I know who could find this... There's Mr P, Berto [only possibly], the odds of maybe someone at work cuz they're all a bunch of nerds and there's lots of them but the ones that really know me personally hmmm dunno but that's about it. And any of them wouldn't really matter too much. Mr P knows some but not all, Berto.. well never have to see him if I didn't want to and the work nerds don't matter at all it would just be a bit awkward or embarassing depending on who it is but hell I can build a bridge and get over it. Hmmm interesting.

[so much for the non d&m post eh? Just can't help myself :} ]

Now playing: Puddle of Mudd [it's my fuck you blog writing music I swear]
Now reading: Lying down with Lions - Ken Follet

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

I like the way you always get it wrong

Well a coupla days without blogging a novel, can you believe it!! I was thinking about you so don't feel neglected ; ] Had the laziest long weekend. Didn't do any of the things that I had planned like cleaning the car, scrubbing the shower and sorting out the spare room... gee wonder why I didn't get round to it? Damn TV... Did watch 20 episodes of Lost though ;} Can't wait for the next couple and I hope I don't have to wait for ages for the second season to start.

Did I ever tell you that I auditioned for the Aussie Survivor... in hindsight I'm glad I didn't get in cuz it was such crap weather. Dunno what my obsession with being lost on a deserted island is about... must look into that.

Anyway you'd better get yourself comfy because I've got a lot to talk about... heheh about a weeks worth of something as I've been thinking about this post for a while.

Last week you'll remember we were talking about secrets, in fact there's some new secrets on Post Secret. Secrets fascinate me because while you hate them, they are the truth. Even though secrets can be lies, they're still the truth. There's just something about keeping a deep secret that has a certain allure to me. Call it my scorpio nature if you need an explanation. But do you always feel better after you've let go of your secrets?

I read my old diary like I said I would - I was beginning to wonder whether I was going to be able to reread it because it took some time to find it. It wasn't where I keep my other diaries as it doesn't fit in the locked box. Took me some time to remember where I'd put it - found it in another locked box... and do you think I could remember where the keys were? Told you.. I like secrets. I was starting to think it was a sign that I shouldn't read it but who am I to listen... It's a bit scary how much I did write about because someday someone will read it. Whether it's a partner or future kids - someone will read them eventually. I wonder whether they would think differently about me after reading it? It makes me think that maybe I should destroy my diaries but one of the reasons I keep them is so that *I* can read them later and reminisce [or cringe]. I'd really like to write my life story [just so that I don't forget] and I'll need my diaries to remember. BUT then do you tell the whole truth or just the part, more palatible truth that everyone else knows? How much truth?

Do you want to hear some stories from my diary? I want to tell you about one of the scariest moments of my life but I dunno if I should write it. It's going to take some time to write too so I might save it for tomorrow's edition.

Truth is an interesting thing. One lesson I learned from asshole2 is that there is such a thing as half the truth. He was a master at telling me part truths and I fell hook, line and sinker - never suspected a thing. That's one thing that I couldn't eloquently express to eyecamdy when we were chatting a coupla weekends ago. I don't trust my judgement since that 'relationship' because I believed everything that asshole2 said. I think I'm a pretty good judge of character and when someone's lying to me but with him I guess I was just blinded by him and what I wanted him to be to me. In hindsight I can see how manipulative he was. I feel embarassed and angry at myself that he took advantage of me like that. It takes a lot for me to open up to anyone [apart from you of course], so when I do it means a lot. Kelly's song just explains exactly what I mean:

Seems like just yesterday, you were a part of me
I used to stand so tall, I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight, everything it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong

Now I can't breathe, no I can't sleep
I’m barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I’m torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything, opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright, for once in my life
Now all that’s left of me is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside

Cause I can’t breathe, no I can’t sleep
I’m barely hanging on


Swallow me, then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you, it kills me now
No, I don’t cry on the outside anymore


I find it hard to trust what people say to me for the same reason. Could it be the truth, half the truth or a total lie because I'm just not sure of my judgement. I'm an optimist and I'd like to believe that what people say is the truth but there's always that little voice that goes YEAH RIGHT!! It pisses me off that one guy could make me doubt myself so much when he's at fault. Asshole....

I don't trust love. I don't like to admit that I was in love with asshole1 and 2 because they hurt me and I don't want to give them the satisfaction. I just want to justify it as lust, mesmerism and a need for companionship but while I don't really know what love is - I was in love with them as much as I possibly could at the time.

Well this was part one of this post. I'm tired and I don't think I should post the second part of this post when I'm tired and delirious. There's a part two tomorrow so tune in same blog channel when you'll read CG blabbering on about some other bullshit.

Funny universe sign - I'm listening to the radio and they've just started Kelly Clarkson's song! Love how the universe works like that. Told you I'm omnipotent mwaaahahahaaa!!!

In between books - Want to read Lying down with lions by Ken Follet but my Dad's got it. In a bit of Ken Follet mood at the moment, can you tell? The Binding Chair is getting the occassional look but it's just a bit sloooow

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Life is a highway

MAN I love a long weekend! I did nothing but watch 20 episodes of Lost yesterday. TOTAL couch potato. Haven't done that in a long time and bloody hell it's good. I'm desperate to see the next episodes but i left that disc behind so I'm gonna have to grab it later tonight because I left it at a cliffhanger and I can't wait to watch the next eps! mmmm Saaawyer... ;}

ooops the couch is calling, better go! A link before I go - maybe something to go with your new purse Rosa? I've got the "Lets play on my Mood Swings" tshirt and most of the Happy Bunny tshirts... too funny!


Friday, June 10, 2005

And one for Rosa


I hate that frog!

Some Friday funnies Posted by Hello

Some Friday funnies Posted by Hello

Some Friday funnies Posted by Hello


Am I in a good mood or what??! A long weekend...OH YEAH! no more dumbass boss... yeeeeehaaawwww!!!!!! *does the happy dance on my chair* la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

And guess what? I received an email from the author of my book! VERY cool but it's spooky how technology works! :]

Happy Friday everyone! I'm off to the pub ; }

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Could it be that it had been there all along

Could everybody reading this please visit this blog to vote in a poll [and then come right back of course]. Dear Ms Rosa Posa needs help making a decision. That decision is duh YEAH!!!!! Don't make me pull rank - I'm the oldest twin between us three. I'll sick Kate on to you next so watch it!

heheh okay just had to get that out of the way. I'm brewing a long post but like my other twins I'm just not in a very talkative mood this week. I've got lots to say but just not right now..tiiired. It's a long weekend this weekend so trust me, you'll be hearing from me ;}

Got my nails refilled tonight so had a good chat to K8. It looks like her man might be going back to the pokey tomorrow at 10am. He's on parole and got caught with some buds. They decide tomorrow. I REALLY hope he's going to be okay but it doesn't look good. She told me a horrific story about his dad. His brother lives with his and has two dogs. The brother was at his girlfriends house for the night and one of the dogs kept waking his dad up. On the 5th time his dad got up, grabbed the dog, took it out bush and slit it's throat. Meanwhile the brother thinks that his dog has run away and has spent the last 2 days combing the neighbourhood for the dog.

Far out huh? I just had no words for that. That just crosses a line with me. Sure take the dog to the pound or something but to take it out somewhere and slit it's throat... beyond words.

Had the farewell lunch today, Spammy and I managed not to sit at his table haha! The food was fantastic and I pigged out on yummy indian. Left as early as possible haha! The funniest thing was that during the speeches a girl tried to steal one of the farewellers bicycle. It was tied up outside the restaurant which had mirrored glass so she couldn't see that 30 or so people were watching her do it. He stepped outside to tell her to piss off and she said she didn't like the pedals anyway!! HAHA!! She was a bit of a freakshow and was hanging around the complex - probably looking for another bike haha!!

Good news that Douglas Woods may be released any day now. Fingers X-ed. Anyway I'm off to bed, gotta prepare for the last day of hellish torture. Just 7 little hours. Yeeeeehaaww!!

Now playing: Incubus - Morning View
Still reading: How to Rule the World: A handbook for the aspiring dictator.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

An inner or interior part

Had my first coffeeboy dream last night. If only you could show people scenes from your dreams. Just let them plug in to your brain for a sec. It was nice and kissy, hello subconcious.

Still in a limbo mood - not bad, not good. Not shimmying under a stick. I'm kinda mad at myself which is probably why I don't feel like writing. I just piss myself off when my head just goes round and round in circles. On one hand I want to stay because of the eyecamdy possibility but on the other hand I wonder who is waiting for me elsewhere. Do I need to take the step elsewhere for 'him' to come into my life? why does that have to be the deciding factor anyway because I'm a strong woman of the new millenium? I'm probably deluding myself anyway. But am I leaving to run away from the crap that's been going on lately? But now bozobreath is leaving in *2* days so it might pay to stick around and see what happens. And do si do your partner.

I know this is probably a bad idea but I'm in the mood to read one of my old diaries. All this talk of secrets has made me want see just how much I've put down on paper. You never know I might share a bit with you.

T minus 14 hours [2 days] to go.

Now playing: Scribe
Still reading: How to Rule The World: A handbook for the aspiring dictator [up to the "Dating tips for dictators" chapter]

Tuesday, June 07, 2005


Still not out of my funky mood from yesterday. It's been a pretty good day workwise but my brain won't leave me alone. I feel like I'm in limbo again. I think I'm not making a decision because I had a "holy fuck it's already June" moment today. I expected to be elsewhere already and I'm not. There's so much I need to do and I'm just doing nothing for no reason. I think I'm still in two minds about going and I can't help it that what eyecamdy said just adds a strike on the stay side. Do I stay or do I go now....

I just don't know what to do. One day it's go, the next it's stay. I could sit here weighing it up and I'm still not making a decision. It's just 50/50 at the mo. Wow for once I'm not in a talkative mood. Might be back, might not.

3 days to go.

Fear my wrath!

I scare myself sometimes. The only solution to my work problems [for me] was for my boss to leave. He's now leaving in 3 days. I was thinking only yesterday that it would be good if one of my annoying co-workers could move sections... this morning I'm greeted with the news that he is!!!

So if I'm able to manifest these things just by thinking about them.... eyecamdy wants me, eyecamdy wants me, eyecamdy wants me..... That will be my mantra for today. That combined with Kate's good dating fortune I think I stand a chance. Wish me luck.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner!

The answer to the question: What goes with cinnamon flavoured Vodka, is coke. It is seriously niiiiiice! Needs something like a dash of lemon but I'm fresh out. And icecubes are a must too. Cinnyvod shots are just a bit too much to hack this early in the evening ;} A light aperitif haha. Just 2 I promise.

I want to invent something new for the single person out there. Car Dating. Why is it that I see all of the tall cute guys in Craptown while I'm driving to or from work? I'll have to set up some sort of website where you can do your traditional profile but have a car number, y'know 345, on a tag for your car window. So then if you see some cute guy or girl you can get their number and get in contact. There's gotta be an easier way because they get all mad and cranky when I run them off the road or chase them home.

I'm still really fascinated by the Post Secret blog I mentioned before. Secrets really intrigue me. Let me post some comments for a sec:

"I am in a 12 step program. Secrets fuel addiction no one knows why. When my secrets are gone, my desire to use goes away no one can explain it it just is."

"I too, belong to a 12-step program and one of our mantras is 'You are as sick as your secrets,' Revealing them takes the power out of them."

Interesting thoughts. Secrets fuel addiction. When my secrets are gone my desire to use goes way. You are as sick as your secrets, revealing them takes the power out of them.

It's funny because I've been thinking a bit about my secrets and the fact that while this blog is anonymous I still can't tell you my secrets as much as I want to. I want to be open and honest about all things but there's just some stuff I don't talk about for fear of anyone in real life finding out.. But if the above is true - who do you tell your secrets too because you keep secrets for a reason whether to protect yourself or others. But secrets are also always found out in the end so why prolong the inevitable. Does this mean that if I tell everyone my secrets that I'll be happy? Too many questions not enough answers. Damn vodka hehehehhehhhhh

That's why the Super Power I always wanted was to be able to read peoples minds because then you know everything they're thinking and all their secrets. I'm going to send one of my secrets to the Post Secret blog. I could see what my postcard looks like as I was reading the other ones.

The Big Cheese is thinking along some of the same lines as I was last week. That second paragraph is like something out of my diary, I sat there nodding going yep, yep, yep. I never really had a focus as he had sport. Maybe that's a secret I can reveal - I don't think I've ever really tried hard enough. Things tend to come easily to me and I think I coast on that too much. I know that I'm only 30 but I still think shit time is running out!!

Anyhoo I'm off for a spot of chow and an early night gotta keep my strength up - 4 days to go!

Now playing: Chemical Brothers
Now reading: Change of book! How to Rule the World: A handbook for the aspiring dictator. A good friend sent me this book and I put it "somewhere safe" and hadn't seen it since. Was only 2 chapters into the other one anyway.

Just a quickie

busy busy day so just a quickie - a new one for my daily read:

Love the concept!!

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Waiting to love

I'm in a funny sort of a mood tonight. 5% vodka, 20% melancholy, 45% yearning, 10% skepticism 20% optimism

Reasons why I'm a damn good catch:

Well travelled
Don't play games in relationships
Can hold a conversation with anyone, anywhere
Reasonably intelligent
Pretty face
Excellent taste in music
Demon in the sack
Can cook fabulous cuisine [can make cheese sauce from scratch]
Fabulous sense of humour
My porn collection is bigger than my brothers [long story]
Have my own house, car, job, PS2
My family isn't crazy

Bit of both:

Honest but sometimes too blunt
Can probably drink you under the table
not entirely sure about having children

Why I'm not a good catch:

Ugly body and have many complexes about it.
Not nice to be around when I'm in a bad mood [but he doesn't have to be around for that]
Will NOT let a guy watch cricket in my house. EVER.
Find it hard to trust people/let them in easily

So why do all the bad things seem to override the good? Or to rephrase - why am I alone?

Could the answer be in my name Complex Girl.

1. Complex: [wants to be] Composed of two or more units
2. Past participle of complect, [wants] to [be] entwine [d]

3. Complex: Involved or intricate, as in structure; complicated [the reason I'm probably not 1 and 2]

4. In psychology, a group of related, often repressed ideas and impulses that compel characteristic or habitual patterns of thought, feelings, and behavior. An exaggerated or obsessive concern or fear.

Synonyms: complex, complicated, intricate, involved, tangled, knotty
These adjectives mean having parts so interconnected as to make the whole perplexing.

Complex implies a combination of many associated parts
Complicated stresses elaborate relationship of parts
Intricate refers to a pattern of intertwining parts that is difficult to follow or analyze
Involved stresses confusion arising from the commingling of parts and the consequent difficulty of separating them
Tangled strongly suggests the random twisting of many parts
Knotty stresses intellectual complexity leading to difficulty of solution or comprehension

thank you and goodnight.

Now playing: the radio for once
Now reading: The Binding Chair - Kathryn Harrison [about Chinese feet binding not bondage - although I did want to see Dieter Franck from Jackdaws get tortured at the end of the book but twas not to be]

Friday, June 03, 2005

I'm heel over head [aka I'm already gone, won't you play along with all my stoopid fucking games]

So did you miss me? a whole 24 hours without blogging, can you believe it? You missed me, you know you did :] Anyhoo an interesting 24 hours. Can I just get the rant part over with for a sec? fuckin bosss fuckin aaaaaaarrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mkay better now.

Had the afternoon function yesterday. Eyecamdy emails me at 3:45 to find out when things are happening and I tell him that I'm going down now to finalise preparations now so he says mmm might meet you down there in 5 mins for a quick beer. OKAY no problemo. So we're in the store room, just me and him. Beers in hand, talking bullshit, skulling beer. I just want to rip his clothes off and tear him to pieces but SOMEHOW managed to control myself. And naturally my plans to move come up in conversation and he says that because my boss is now leaving that maybe I should consider staying..... huh? whazzat? I almost fainted BUT I know he's just giving me helpful friendly advice. I can't read anything into that as much as I want to. Oh I want to.

Anyway we chug a beer each in 10 mins then start proceedings for the function. He said that he might be back as he's got a lot of work on... no problemo, I'm still on a high from getting 10 minutes alone [there's a song about that I'm sure]. About 6pm things are starting to wind down and I'm having a beer on a 3 seater couch with a mate who is siting on the opposite end of the couch. eyecamdy comes in and grabs a beer and sits in between us. niiiiiice. So we three had a chat and unfortunately I had to go [family commitments dammit otherwise dozers couldn't drag me away] about 30 mins later. Damn he smells good.

And you know he's got really jubey earlobes, love that. They kept popping into my mind all night - yeah I'm wierd I knowit. Cuz I was sitting sideon when he sat down I didn't bother facing forwards so it was 30 minutes of eyecamdy goodness. Just wanted to reach over and stroke the back of his neck teeehee!

Coffeeboy hung around for beers at the start of the function. We sat on that same couch and chatted. Too cute, he told me he's back with his girlfriend who is also a scorpio. His mum told him that I thought he had cute hair which he told me so I said YEAH, you've got SUCH cute hair blah de blah eeeheheheheh love flattering him. He gets so thingy when I do. I'm not sure he knows how to take me because I'm really honest with him and he's not sure if I'm taking the piss or not because I can't help giving him the wicked eye while I'm doing it.

I think I'm going to have to rename this CG's crushvomit blog. The difference between eyecamdy and coffeeboy is that coffeeboy is just a flirtation whereas eyecamdy I'd give my left pinky for.

Shall we move on?

nothing much else to say really ; } Pathetic, these little pleasures. Someone once told me that beauty is in the details and I'm so a details gal.

Now playing: Pink[car] and David Bowie[work] Puddle of Mudd [now]. [in the mood for digging out the ole Pantera - I'm in a RAWK mood folks! ]
Still reading: Jackdaws - Ken Follett [coupla chapters to go, I definately would have been a Resistance spy if I was alive during those times.]

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Now in paperback!! You know you want me

I have my own book! The Simple Pleasures of a Complex Girl by Michael W. Dean Apparently it's a naughty book, well duh... what else would you expect from me!!

The description:

Sex. Anarchy. Rock ‘N’ Roll. (and a Naughtie Nursie or two.) “The Simple Pleasures of a Complex Girl” is a new novel from Michael W. Dean, the author of “Starving in the Company of Beautiful Women”, “$30 Film School”, “$30 Music School” and “$30 Writing School”. Michael also directed the films “DIY or DIE: How To Survive as an Independent Artist” and “Hubert Selby, Jr.: It/ll be better tomorrow.” “The Simple Pleasures of a Complex Girl” is literary fiction with a strong narrative, written in the second person from a female POV. Plot outline: Conservative young woman joins Texan anarchist collective that takes down an evil corporate scheme to ruin the world.

Might even invest in a copy....

Interesting rumblings round the office [no not of a bodily function nature] Seems that my boss may not be replaced and that the rest of my team is being shipped to another division! That leaves me here all on my lonesome. Not that that is a bad thing as maybe I can get a bit of work done with all the peace and quiet... cue the crickets...

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

The penguins are in the bathroom

Boy it's cold but I'm not complaining - I love winter! It's going to be -3 tonight so I've finally cranked out the heater today. Love my house, I've got the best insulation. I'm not so sure what to do with the bathroom. I have NO heating in the bathroom. This morning was really funny because it was -5 last night and the minute the hot water came through the shower the whole bathroom was a sauna. You could see my breath it was that cold. Good thing I've got that nordic blood in me but I've gotta find a little bathroom heater before I freeze my bits off.

I've been reading more of Thom [I'm so addicted to blog reading I can't explain it] and I really dig the below post that he wrote last year. I really dig it

Bus Philosophy

I was waiting for the bus last Wednesday in butt-nasty cold of a Minnesota winter. A bus shows up about 3 minutes late, with the wrong sign displayed. The bus driver opened the door and yelled, "This is the five-thirty-five-B. The sign's broken." So I got on, paid my fare and sat down near the front of the empty bus. As we pulled away, the driver calls back to me, "Sorry, the sign's broke. I made up a small one for the front, but no one seems to see it. So I just stop, open the door, and call out who I am."

To which I replied, "Isn't that all any of us can do?"

And he likes Nick Cave so you've gotta dig him for that alone. Can't wait to see who is sending him letters, this is better than the Bold and the Beautiful. He better keep his blog posted or it'll be the worst suspenseful cliffhanger.

Read an article about the new pope and his plans for the future and I just loved how he described certain branches of the US catholic church. He called them "cafeteria catholics" because they just pick and choose the best bits of the religion. Hmmm a reformist pope, gee let me think. good thing I'm not religous.

I really want to see Star Wars but everyone has been and I've got no one to go with : {

Now playing: Mad Season [more flashbacks!] and David Bowie
Still reading: Jackdaws - Ken Follett [Mr Follett must have been in his bondage and torture phase when writing this book. Quite unlike his usual stuff, very interesting ;} Think I'm gonna have to go to bed early to finish it ]

I can feel it coming in the air tonight

Must be something in the air 'cause geez I'm in a good mood today and in an even better mood after getting my second cawfee this morning. Got a compliment from coffeeboy - he told me I was looking nice front of everyone. Funny how that puts a smile on my dial. Couldn't tell him that he always looks tasty as it was a bit busy but trust me it was on my mind. So I've decided to pass it on. I've complimented 2 people today and I've got 1 to go. Go and give someone a compliment now - you won't regret it.

Can't stop watching this:

And Thom [below] has a secret admirer! I love that... Can't wait to read how it turns out. I just want someone to call me "Freckles" like Sawyer does Kate. gives me goosebumps every time I hear him say it.

You know it shits me when people remove the blogger bar from their pages. How are us blogsurfers suppposed to keep surfing through if you've got a shite blog? Some sites will come up two or three times but I've yet to stumble over my own blog [phew!].

Had a hilarious meeting with bossypoos and the team this morning. I couldn't count the amount of times I had to hold back from sniggering. My team just cracks me up. Although I did count the ummms and we only got up to 76 instead of last weeks alltime high of 127. Just spit it out man!! And I did 'win' yesterday's standoff YAY ME!

Can't get that Kelly Clarkson song out of my head. The lyrics just explain all of my past relationships in one. I guess they'll never accuse her of lipsynching.