Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Another turnip or a fork stuck in the road

Rosa reminded me of my Cute Bus Guy. She had a Cute Train Guy but we've only got shitty busses in Craptown. My story is a little different that hers but an equally sad ending. [I think you should have asked him for mouth to mouth as you were feeling a little faint from your arm ordeal but that's just me ;} ]

This is in the days before I bought my first car. My CBG's name was Brandon [for real]. He had long dark honey golden hair and a goatee. Tall, blue eyes and real groovy smile. He was so my thing at the time [I'm not into the long hair thing anymore but I digress]. He caught my bus on the way home from work. I'd alway sit in my favourite seat [one from the back because it had the biggest leg room] and I always was on the bus before him. The first time I saw him my jaw must have dropped because I couldn't stop looking at him. I'd sneak glances at him as he was walking up the aisle, I didn't want him to catch me staring. Anyway he sat in the seat in front of me.

This went on for a couple of weeks and I'd always mentally save his seat for him so that he could sit in front of me and he always did. [yay!] Anyway one day he was getting on the bus and I must have been staring without being subtle and he smiled at me as he was sitting down and because I'm a friendly gal, I smiled back.

He sat down and turned around and said "You should smile more, you have a beautiful smile". Cue CG to go beet red and sweat profusely. But I managed to speak and said thanks as he turned to face the front again.

The next day we got to "Hi, how are you" and the day after, chitchat. I think it was the week after that he asked me out on a date. They have a tulip/flower festival here every year and it's quite nice. He asked me for a stroll around the park. Interestingly enough we bumped into my old housemates [from the previous post] who got to check him out. I hadn't told them about him at all, not really sure why. Probably because it would take the magic away from the whole thing. Anyway we had a really cool afternoon and got the bus home together.

He told me that he was working as a clockmakers apprentice, had a couple of brothers and had a sweat lodge out the back of his house. Like a Native American sweat lodge. I wasn't sure what to make of that. I really can't remember why I chickened out on him. He was a couple of years younger than me but that didn't really bother me. I think that it was too soon after asshole1 and he had some similar intense traits. I guess I was scared of going there again so soon after having my heart pummeled into the dirt. So the ending to this story is a bit anti climactic in that he walked me home, gave me his number and I never saw him again.

Wish I'd kept his number.

It's wasted chances like that that make me wonder about the possibilities in life. How many times have I changed my destiny by going the wrong way after being set on a path?

I've always wanted love to be like the movies Serendipity or Singles. I'm happy to work hard to find love, I know it's not easy but I want that ziiingPOW magnet attraction of two people that works out in the end forever and ever, happily ever after, fade to credits. Guess I'm brainwashed by the hollywood happy ending cliche but is that so bad? What if I had that chance and I've already fucked it all up by choosing the wrong course of action and that's set me on a negative course? Wish there was a little neon light that would flick on and off so that you've at least got a big DO NOT PROCEED WITH CAUTION signal. [I'll be watching for the sign]

And dammit I had to dig up my cheesy glamour shots. Boy are they bad. I'd totally forgotten about them. They're about 10 years old [probably done around the same time as the above story when I think of it] and ugh just so cheesy.

Got two functions this week so that might provide some interesting posts. The afternoon function will consist of perving on coffeeboy a he's sticking around for that. He was extra cute today. After I'd had my 'meeting' with bozobreath I went to the caf to get a coffee and I was flushed in the face because I was furious. My blood was literally boiling. He came around the counter and asked me what was going on. I told him I was trying to keep my cool because my boss sucks [which we've talked about before] so he immediatly started making me a cappachino and telling me how crappy his boss was and how he was always telling him how to cook egg and bacon sandwiches. Now I'm not saying this because he's sex on legs but his egg and bacon sandwich kicks ass over his boss's [who is the 'head cook'] sandwich. And of course I tell this him too, I flatter the pants off the boy [mwaahaaa I wish] and he laps it up and beams me the ultracute smile. niiice.

Anyway this old perv is off to perv on the pervy Vincent "I love Complexgirl" D'Onofrio

Guess who's pregnant??!

No not me! My fish Jan is going to have babies!!! One of our security guards used to be a fishmonger and he reckons that she's not fat, just pregnant! I was thinking that Fluffy was the father as they have about a 2 month gestation but black Moors are egg layers. So I'm hoping that Othello is a male so that he can fertilize the eggs otherwise they're having caviar. I was hoping they'd be 'live birthers' so that there'd be 50 baby fish swimming around but no such luck. I'll keep you posted with the latest news and photos.

Had another run in with bossypoos this morning and I'm amazed at how calm I was! Calm and rational!! Calm, rational AND I resisted slapping him round his stoopid head, can you believe it? Stood my ground on one particular issue and I think I won. It's so clear that he has no idea what is involved in certain aspects of my job. My question is why is he trying to micromanage me 18 months too late? He must have some sort of tick list that he's trying to accomplish in these last two weeks... ease off pal..coast a little... it's not necessary. We know you're incompetant and no amount of last minute management is going to change that perception. I bet you're getting bored of me blabbering on about my boss but if you only knew him you would understand. The office chant at the moment is 7 more days to go ho ho sung to the tune of 100 bottles of beer on the wall...

Go the flashbacks... I'm getting smellovision as well. I was telling you last night about listening to my fave AiC boot and at the time when I was originally listening to them [and Soundgarden and the rest of the grunge fellas] in a big way was when I was with asshole1. That time in my early twenties is probably the best I've had so far. We used to go out every weekend to our bar where everyone knew our names. I was sharing my first house with two of my girlfriends. Three Dumb Blondes we called ourselves - we even had business cards printed! We had such a good time together. I remember the ladies who lived behind us [I'd say over the back fence but we didn't have a back fence and so looked directly on to their back porch] used to like to walk around naked... outside... Oh the outrageous parties we had... *sigh* I miss that.

Anyway yesterday arvo I was out for my walk and the winter smell in the air took me back to those days before I had a car. I used to walk everywhere with my walkman and my 10 hole Docs especially with little skirts and dark black opaque stockings. I still have them although they've got paper thin soles from so much wear so I had to reminisce and cranked them out of the closet last night. I'll never throw them away, they kinda symbolise that golden time. All through those years Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, Mother Love Bone, Mudhoney, Nirvana, and the Screaming Trees were the soundtrack to my life.

Oh I forgot to add Vincent D'Onofrio to my list of celebs I'd shag in a heartbeat. There's just something about that man that just does it for me. How could I forget him!

Spose I'd better go and do some work... boorrrrring!

Monday, May 30, 2005

Burning on the Angry Chair....

Am I wrong here? Does your boss have the right dictate to you how he wants your job done? Especially when he has no idea in the bloody first place. Have I just been really lucky to have bosses who let me do my thing without any micromanagement dictation? I've just about had enough!! Hey I'm all for a bit of direction and guidance but I think that an effective manager knows that there's a way to go about it. I've never been dictated to and it's really fucking me off. I'm starting to doubt that I'll be able to handle the next 9 days. fer farks sake!! *deep breaths*

It's funny one of the things eyecamdy and I were talking about on the weekend was how certain traits that annoy us in other people are what we don't like within ourselves. I quite agree but I'm not sure what my 'inner issue' is with myself and my boss dictating to me. A problem with authority, what does that mean? I just hate being told what to do. I don't know how else to put it. I don't mind suggestions or constructive criticism but telling me what to do pricks up my hackles. I'm really contrary by nature and it just makes me wanna say fuck you I'll do what I fucking well like thank.you.very.much. If you want my job so bad why don't you apply for it grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.....*deep breaths*

Back to eyecamdy... a better description for you Rosa. He's about 5'11, a solid build. Not fat but not thin, nicely padded. He's got sky blue eyes, he's a natural blonde which is kinda sandy [he got a haircut just before his birthday, cute!] and it's kinda short. He's got reallllly nice lips and a cute little skislope nose. He smells really good, good taste in aftershave or his sister/mum does ;} Dresses really nicely, doesn't smoke, is pretty fit, drives a cool car and also a motorbike [but doesn't have one at the moment] which freaks me out a little you get that. He's very funny, thoughtful, social, a strong kinda guy. He'd be the one I'd pick if I could pick one but I'm just not willing to wreck our friendship if he didn't want me. It'd be too much to bear so I'm happy to be buddies. Don't get me wrong, if he makes the first move I'm so there but in the meantime I can flirt with him and be mates. And hell if I'm moving that doesn't help. It might change my mind a little and I would probably try and talk him into coming with me but I would possibly stay. woah, that's a weird thought, wishful thinking more like it

Having a bit of a flashback musically. The radio station played "18 and Life" the other day so I had to crank out the ole Skid Row cd. Ahhh Sebastian. I had the biggest thing for him during the turrible teens. I reeemember youuuuu... And am listening to my fave Alice in Chains bootleg Swarm. Getting a lot of memory flash backs as well. In particular the guy that I was with when I was in to AiC in the worst way, I was such a grunge girl. It's funny how you associate music with people and places. When we broke up I was listening to the Tripod album and God Am in particular, I just remember absolutely sobbing for what felt like the first time in my life. Body wrenching sobs of grief. Fuck you asshole ;}

I'm in a chatty mood today as you can see. damn the Fluffy Duck Hats still cracks me up... Anyhoo I'm going to go and get something to eat and get some kitty lovin because I keep pissing myself off tonight and if I don't calm down I'll never get to sleep.

Now playing: Alice in Chains, Skid Row
Still reading: Jackdaws - Ken Follet [I'm halfway it's getting really good!]

my Mum's better than your Mum so nyah nyah ne nyah nyaaahhh

Geez my mum is the best! I sent her the below email which I received this morning:

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the
tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are
afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten
apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy....... So the
apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to
come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the
top of the tree. Share this with other women who are good apples,
even those who have already been picked!

Her response:

I immediately thought of you as being the top and very best apple waiting for that special person. love mum


awwwwwww love you Mum.

And just one more because I've been cleaning out my archives. This one was from 1997 so it's about time it did the rounds again cuz damn I've had a laff!

DAILY AFFIRMATIONS:

- As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath.

- I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

- As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.

- I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

- I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.

- My body is a temple. Do you want to come over for midnight mass?

- In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

- Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others.

- My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment.

- I can change any thought that hurts into a reality that hurts even more.

- I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.

- Joan of Arc heard voices too.

- I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.

- I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.

- As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.

- When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit. But not nearly as gratifying.

- The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to do first and second steps for me.

- All of me is beautiful and valuable, even the ugly, stupid, and disgusting parts.

- I am at one with my duality.

- Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.

- Rather than curse the darkness, I could light a candle... with a little luck, I could torch the place.

- Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.

- Does my quiet self-pity get to me? Yes? Or should I move up to incessant nagging?

- I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.

- Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so."

- False hope is nicer than no hope at all.

- A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.

- Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV. Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom.

- The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.

- I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.


BUT WAIT!!! I found this which is even funnier!! The one about the baby duck hat had me weeping ;}



Deep Thoughts (by Jack Handey)


**********************************************************************

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go,
because, man, they're gone.


If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them
down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.


To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when
you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a
hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."


One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to
take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old
burned-out warehouse. "Oh no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He
cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a retty good joke.


The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the
face.

If you lived in the Dark Ages and you were a catapult operator, I bet the most common question people would ask is, "Can't you make it shoot farther?" "No, I'm sorry. That's as far as it shoots."


Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful
flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.


I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our
children's children, because I don't think children should be having
sex.


If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell im
is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute
thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."


If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the
mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.


Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first
instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant and he
fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.>

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no
choreography and the dancers hit each other.


I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king, they
don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with
some good ideas.


If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons
(maybe by shoving them down his throat).


Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call
them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what, can't we all be brothers?


Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort
of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.


I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out
that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I
was thinking about doing that anyway.

I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver.
And since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real
quick and hand it to him.


Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word
itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words
"mank" and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.


If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying
forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.


It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I
guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there,
rocking back and forth, wanting that money.


If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer,
bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've
wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I
went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.


As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red
again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a
bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.


I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate.
And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never
expect it.


I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching.


Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there,
in the room talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books.


What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing
and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get
drunk? And after you're real drunk, maybe go down to the public park
and stagger around and ask people for money, and then lay down and go to sleep.


Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out
of it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.


During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not
putting on your armor because you were "just going down to the
corner."


If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people,
like I am now.


When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call
the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and
started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.


I remember how my great-uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and
whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a toy boat out of a larger toy boat I had. It was almost as good as the first one, except now it had bumpy whittle marks all over it. And no paint, because he had whittled off the paint.


Here's a good thing to do if you go to a party and you don't know
anybody: First take out the garbage. Then go around and collect any
extra garbage that people might have, like a crumpled napkin, and take that out too. Pretty soon people will want to meet the busy garbage guy.


Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights,
even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is
you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.


If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was
reading a magazine.


If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think
it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. But only if you're serious about
adopting the vulture.


Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe
me?


If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you.


One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run
with a wooden stake.


If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, wouldn't you think a good costume would be to dress up like the boss's wife? Trust me, it's not.


Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a
dungeon. But some days, when there was a bad storm outside, you'd look out your little window and think, "Boy, I'm glad I'm not out in that."


Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over
here, looking through your stuff.


For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?


I'd like to see a nature film where an eagle swoops down and pulls a
fish out of a lake, and then maybe he's flying along, low to the
ground, and the fish pulls a worm out of the ground. Now that's a
documentary.


If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a
peace treaty, just as I was signing, I'd glance over the treaty and
then suddenly act surprised. "Wait a minute! I thought we won!"


Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a new name for
yourself. For instance, let's say you have chosen the nickname "Fly
Head." Normally you would think that "fly Head" would mean a person
who has beautiful swept-back features, as if flying through the air.
But think again. Couldn't it also mean "having a head like a fly"?
I'm afraid some people might actually think that.


Somebody told me how frightening it was how much topsoil we are
losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.


I hope that after I die, people will say of me: "That guy sure owed
me a lot of money."


I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then,
Yahoo!, I'd have all my money back.


I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat." It's a fake baby
duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then all of the sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man those ducks really take off! Also Baby Duck Hat is good for parties.


If you get invited to your first orgy, don't just show up nude.
That's a common mistake. You have to let nudity "happen."


The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of
the watering hole and started to drink. But then he looked around and saw skulls and bones everywhere. "Uh-oh," he thought. "This watering hole is reserved for skeletons."

But wait there's more

Just having a chuckle over here:

http://imthebeesknees.blogspot.com/

I wish I were as cool as some of the blogs I read. I can't believe the amount of people who do read me... you people are going to go blind you realise. And here I am thinking it's me, Kate and Rosa....

And just a small rant so feel free to skip it if you wanna:

What the hell is the big attraction to those dumbass cheesy ringtones? Maybe it's just me being old and cranky but I really don't see how anyone above the age of 7 would find them even mildly entertaining. Like the farting monkeys ringtone that is on TV every fricken ad break or that ear grating singing dragon... I just find them highly irritating and if I EVER hear one in real life I'm going to find it extremely hard not to yank the offending phone away from whatever dumbass owns it and smash it to smithereens. Then jump on the smithereened remnants until there is nothing but plastic dust particles. Then jump on the plastic dust particles til they're firmly ground into the dirt. Then dig up that dirt and set fire to it... you're getting me right?

mkay rant over :]

RIP Bartholomew Alphonse Ripley I

Got into work this morning to find that my beloved Bart [aka Blondie] has carked it. He exploded which was pretty gross so either he ate too much or the black fish are racist ;} Poor little fella. He's probably been floating upside down all weekend but we had a little ceremony and flushed him into the great fishbowl in the sea. I'm glad that I got some photos this time. I think I must be jinxed with red fish. I'll stick to the black fellas from now on.

I consoled myself with a caramel donut... mmm coffee and donuts = the most excellent breakfast. Despite this I actually met one of my weight targets this weekend. I've been hovering 1 or 2 kgs around it for the last week or two and despite the fact that I have been over-indulging in the ole alkyhol I've cracked it by 3 kgs! YAY me!

speaking of eyecamdy - which we weren't but whatever. Just saw him in the hallway as I was getting my lunch.. mmmm eyecamdy... I wanna talk more about him but can't really at this point in time as there's too many possible eyes over the shoulder. Tune in tonight for a more detailed description and juicy details as I obsess further teehee!

9 more days to go ho ho [oh man I can't wait!! Got an email this morning "I have given thought as to how I want this and that to be managed" ecfuckingscuse me?? You want to start being a manager NOW 9 days before you leave? I don't think so pal... ]

Sunday, May 29, 2005

to be yourself is all that you can do

Well the cold reality of day isn't so harsh for once. [it's still cold this morning though] I've woken up feeling quite okay. I think it was all the water I drank during the night because my head was hurting before I went to bed so I was dreading the morning.. but she's apples mate.

Of course I dreamt of eyecamdy all night. I hate those drunken dreams where you wake up and try and filter what actually happened and what was dream. And I remembered something else that happened during the night. We were feeling hungry so went off to the bistro with another girl and guy. Everyones food came before mine and I was only having a chicken caesar. He started feeding me mouthfuls of his chicken over the table [heheh made sure I was sitting opposite him of course]. Finally my salad came and he kept picking from my plate [which I had no problem with of course]. The other two left and we sat and had our big chat. It was just so weird to talk to him about asshole2 like that. I just wanted to tell him that it was him I really wanted but lucky I wasn't that schmamered. Anyway the other girl who was eating with us commented to me later that it was a rather intimate thing and was there something going on that I needed to tell her about... I wish.

Two of the work friends that I hang out with have gotten together, yesterday was their first public outing together so it was pretty cute. Two very nice people so I hope they're together for a long time.

Anyhoo I'm off to find me a job

Saturday, May 28, 2005

mmmmm riding on a saturday hiiiiigh

can I just say ow ow ow my head? it's not even 11pm and I have a hang over. Considering that I was pretty seedy this morning after a billion cinnyvod shots last night on top of friday beers... Had yumcha this morning and then promptly went to the pub at 2pm to kick it all off again... and condsidering I had my last beer at 9pmish and it's almost 11pm... my head huurrrts.

Had a really odd deep and meaningful with eyecamdy about an hour ago. For some reason he can just get answers out of me and i can't hide it. He knows this - which he admitted to me. I admitted to him about asshole2 who still works in our building. Don't belive I admitted it!! Dunno how we got on the subject but we sat and chatted for a good hour or so before getting interupted. It was just nice to stare into his beeeeutiful blue eyes... and got a smooch as I was leaving. I just can't help but read things into what he says to me BUT I know that he doesn't work and play. So is he just being ultra friendly? But the smooching thing??? and I thought girls were sposed to be confusing!

gotta go to bed... just missed blogging and had to see how everyone was ;} Glad to hear that flyguy has come to his senses and is going to keep his blog. YAY!!! Have a good one folks, I'm off to bed!!

Friday, May 27, 2005

I can't figure it out

I made the mistake of watching the news tonight and it's set me off in a big way. Couldn't stop crying for a while. It was bad enough reading the live blog but watching Schapelle crumble like that... I can't even imagine how she is right now, how her family are coping. To face the next 20 years in some shitty hellhole far from home, friends and family. Not being able to talk to anyone because you don't speak the language. Not being able to eat the provided food because it makes you sick. Are her family going to move to Bali to continue feeding her to keep her alive? 20 years... While I am ever hopeful that this prisoner transfer treaty will come through I can't help but scoff at the idea that it will come to pass. After listening to some of the pollies speak you'd think that they were opening the floodgates for every overseas prisoner to be transferred to Australia. Fucking ridiculous.

I have no idea if she's guilty or innocent and only she knows that. Someone at work reckons that it was her brothers pot but that's a pretty farfetched idea to me. They seem like a pretty tight family and if I knew that I had framed my brother there is no way that I would let him take the blame for me. I can't imagine that her brother would do that to her. Hey I don't know him but I find it hard to believe that anyone could put their own sibling through the ordeal that she has been through since October and will go through for the next 20 years if she doesn't kill herself first. 20 years... She'll be 48 when she gets out.

I think it wouldn't be so bad if she were back here in Australia, our prisons almost seem like holiday resorts compared to the Kerobokan prison. She's even got her own wikipedia entry now. And interestingly enough there was a link to other Australians in international prison:. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Australians_in_international_prisons 20 years... it's just so daunting and it's not even me.

And still no positive progress on Douglas Wood. Still got my fingers crossed. I'm an optimist. The mufti offered to trade places with Douglas. Can you imagine that??? To trade places with a hostage, even the offer is beyond words. Between that and the donation to the Iraqi people - just give him back already!

And damn you Kate... all that talk of vodka and I had to sample some of my brews. I realised that it's been about 8 months that these oh so tasty vodkas have been brewing. I had a big party and had 2 half bottles of vodka left over so I put a vanilla bean in one and a cinnamon stick in the other and they've been living in my fridge door ever since. Every couple of weeks I'll give it a shake and stir it up a bit. BOY are they good!!! My problem is... what do you drink flavoured vodka with? My only solution so far is ice and it's proving to be uh intoxicating. Especially since I've run out of ice. Did find some cinnamon syrup that I like to use as the base of my margharitas ;} Makes it just a tad more palatable... needless to say I'm tanked.

And who on earth came up with Pods? Not iPods the gadget but Pods the bite sized cookie things. The Snickers filled bite sized cookie things. sooo tasty.... particularly good with cinnamon vodka. Shot o cinnyvod and pop a Pod. I remember now why I was making flavoured vodka! Apart from the obvious intoxicating reasons, but at this party I had a liquour called Goldsplat or Goldsblatt which was a sweet thick clear cinnamon flavoured spirit which had 24 carat gold leaf floating in it. It was the most beautiful thing to look at - like a gold snow globe. But it also tasted so divine. Is there such a thing as an online grog shop? apparently you can't buy this Goldsplat stuff here in Oz. Cinnamon flavoured anything is number 1 in my book.

Ah google how I love thee, it's called Goldschlager. Now if only I can find somewhere to buy it! If anyone sees it in their local grog shop, give me a hoi.

heehee another abdominal work out reading Jelly's latest post. Damn that girl is funny. I've seen all of those horror movies but only because I used to wag school and go to my mates house and we'd have Milo sandwiches and watch horror movies. That was my real education! The last really scary movie I've seen is American History X. NO WAIT - Saw!!! If you haven't seen this movie go and see it NOW!! yeah Saw. It was made by Leigh Whanell [of early Recovery fame] and one of his mates. It's scary because of it's possibility, same with American History X. It's the real lifeness of it that scares me the most. There's a scene in AMX where Edward Norton's character busts these guys breaking into his house and then what he does on the sidewalk... brrrrr gives me goosebumps just typing it.... or is that the vodka eehehehehehehhh

Wanted to share another one of my daily reads. When I get to work in the morning I go and perv on coffeeboy while he makes me a coffee then I get back to my desk and read how everyone is doing. Amongst the people I've already mentioned I also read The Big Cheese. http://startingnextmonday.blogspot.com This guy started his blog around the time I did and I've been reading him since I stumbled on him. Crappy taste in music but I half like him just for the name of his blog - Starting Next Monday... If I could count the times I've thought Yep on Monday it starts. And he keeps me motivated... I'm big boned ;} Not fat but not thin. Nicely padded as my Mum puts it... yeah thanks Ma.

Hi I'm CG and I'm a blogaholic... hehe a blogaholic with verbal diarrhoea - say that five times fast after voddy shots. Funny how vodka loses it's nail polish taste after the fifth or so shot.. Don't have to go whoooooooooooooo after every shot. But I can still type and your eyeballs are under my command. You just can't stop reading can you.. noooo look away while you can... and we're back. Just can't help yourself can you.

Anyhoo I'm toasted and I'm going to bed. Have to rest up for tomorrows festivities. More drinking.. but hey it's the weekend right. Today is Friday so that's cool, just gotta stop drinking during the week. I hope to have some interesting goss when next we speak. Hopefully some interesting goss about eyecamdy. *sigh* nighty night

still playing: Krafty Kuts and Linkin Park
stuck in my head: Hazel eyes - Kelly Clarkson
still reading: Jackdaws - Ken Follet

Oh Schapelle.....

She got 20 years and if I understand it correctly that was the verdict on the first of 3 charges. I just want to cry. Poor girl. The images that have been posted on the internet are just heartwrenching.

heheh and thanks to Kate who is quaffing numnummy vodka for me while I'm here slaving away at work. hope you're getting thoroughly tanked!! I can all most feel the drunken vibes... 1 hours and 15 mins til beer o'clock. Not that I'm counting or anything.

Thinking of you Schapelle

Good luck Schapelle, we'll see soon what the verdict will be although she's got to sit through a 79 page judgement! I'm being an optimist and hoping that she will be acquitted of all charges and return to Australia but it seems to me that the judges have already made up their mind. I'm assuming she'll get at least 10 years in the hellhole they call jail over there. If she does I'm half inclined to go and visit her. I couldn't imagine anything worse for her and I've got my fingers X-ed. There's a live webblog on the SMH site www.smh.com.au if you wanna read along. I've just found a live audio feed so I'll be listening in for as long as I can. Good luck times a bazillion.

5 hours til beer o'clock...

Thursday, May 26, 2005

oh maaaan!! just when I think I'm getting back up on the sunny side, no no bozobreath has other plans. What's that joke "A. Have a nice day, B. No thanks I have other plans". What the hell is his problem?? I just don't get it! Deep breaths girl, deep breaths..... don't give him the power... 11 days and counting. Which is really only 79.2 hours going by the required 7.21 per day. And of that 79.2 hours.. I'd probably only be face to face with him for 4.8 possible hours if I can successfully avoid him during the day and only turn up to the mandatory team meetings. It's just the dreaded emails that will foil my plans. He knows how busy I am and doesn't hesitate to bombard me with fricken emails.... deep breaths.... Just think about it... 4.8 hours... that I can handle.

Apart from the craptacular day, I had a funny conversation with coffeeboy's mum. She works in my building as well and it's fun to probe her for info on her son. And I just HAD to have an arvo coffee with one of my pals in the building so gee damn I got in a good 30 mins of perving on his beautiful form. And bloody hell he makes a good coffee. I was asking her about whether his dad has the same curly hair - he's got curly hair like Ryan Philippe or Justin Timberlake. That almost afro curl but his is also blond. And he's got pretty lips ; }

I admit it, I'm lonely. I hate to admit it because it feels so pathetic inside. Dunno why I feel it so strongly today. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy being on my own. I'd rather be alone that in a shite relationship - I won't stand for it. Some people don't know how to be alone but I have no problem there. But I really want to share it all with someone. It would be nice to have someone who gives a shit about me apart from my family and close friends. I guess it comes back to that being important again. I want to be important to someone. I want to be someones universe. Is that possible?

Think I'm a bit nostalgic today because it's one of my ex's birthday today, lets call him asshole2. One of the guys i was refering to in one of my really early posts. This is the one for whom I was a side salad for more than a year without realising it. I just feel dumb about that one but I was so blinded by him. He is physically so what I'm after. Personality too when he turns it on but other then that he can fuck right off. I was so bamboozled by him and I remember thinking on more than one occasion "why are you with ME? you could have any girl you wanted to crook your finger at and you're with me?? Guess I found out. Well it's also Mushman's bday and it's eyecamdy's tomorrow. damn geminis Off for YumCha on Saturday lunchtime and playing games at the pub afterwards to celebrate. Count me in! that's one soire I won't be leaving early. Get him pissed and we'll see... heheh fuck you NO FUCK YOU!!!

spose I should talk to you bout eyecamdy. One of my lusty boys. One of the lads round the office who is hot as coals. But he doesn't work and play which is kinda a good thing because he's 'safe'. I can pay him out and flirt with him with no chance that he'll take me up although he does know that I'm leaving soon. Anyhoo one very drunken xmas party about 2 years ago they hosted the after work xmas party at their flat and he was making me the most excellent g n t's I have ever tasted and getting royally toasted himself. He made a point of telling me about his girlfriend [who broke up with him about 6 months ago - broke up with HIM, I know!!] and then proceeded to tell me I'm beautiful. So I said, no you're beautiful, and he said no YOU'RE beautiful, so I said NO YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL and that kept going on for a while until it was NO FUCK YOU, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, NO FUCK YOU, NO FUCK YOU at the top of our lungs in the middle of a high density townhouse area. We were totally cacking ourselves while yelling don't get me wrong we weren't fighting. Hell he was sitting on my lap on the couch while I was surreptitiously feeling his ass. Ahhhh anyway we've had many a drunken evening together under the guise of drinkin buddies but just ask me pal and the answer is yes.

okay now that I have thoroughly depressed myself I'm going to go and file down my nails and watch Lost [mmmm Sawyer] I look forward to reading you all in the morning with my cawfee

Now playing: Krafty Kuts blast blast blaaaast ;}
Still reading: Jackdaws - by Ken Follett [a weird aside - for some odd reason I've always thought I would be able to tough out a torture session due to certain things in my past and my high threshold for pain but after reading a torture session in this book I doubt it. I still hope that I wouldn't tell what I knew because I know that they'd kill me anyway but I would hope that the pain would kill me first. ]

Wednesday, May 25, 2005


oh just onnne more of my fugly fish, how I love thee Posted by Hello

a side view, you can see that Othello is just a smaller version of my beloved Jan. Funky gravel too.  Posted by Hello

these fellas often come to the front to check out what is going on. From L-R Bart, Jan and Othello Posted by Hello

This is what I see every morning. I swear I'm going to rename it Blondie. It acts like it's starving gulping at the surface til I feed it. This is Bartholomew Alphonse Ripley I Posted by Hello

mesh sexy initiatives <-- ahh dack.com I love you

a GOOD day at work today, can you believe it boys and girls??! Now was it a) because it was a boss free zone today or b) because we had a liquid lunch and far too many frosty bevs or c)because I left work early

heheh all of the above. GEEZ I love my job HAHA!!!

[*sending you virtual lip healing vibes Rosa*]

I swear that my musical taste is mellowing as I get older. Why is that? And the fact that I'm more receptive to things like pink and pop music? At 30? I've always been a tomboy probably to deal with the fact that I'm so tall but I've always had mostly guy friends, listened to metal, wore black constantly, been a spitter,swearer, fighter. I've grown out of that but I've gotten so much more girly girl as I've ventured through my late twenties. Do you get more girly as you get older? Is that why little old ladies are like the epitome of girly girlness? I always wanted to be a potsmoking, drinking, swearing old bitch of a little old lady ;]. I've always got music playing but these days it's a bit more dancypants than what I used to listen to. Some of the harder metal that I used to listen to just sounds like unlistenable noise now! I like music that makes you feel something, whether it's bobbin your head, jumping round the room or screaming ROOOOOCKKKKK FUUCK YEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! The only music I don't like is your teenybopper pop ala Shitney Smears et al, Celine Dion and Mariah, blues and country music. Just about everything else I can tolerate and have bits and pieces in my cd collection [over 2000 cds now! told ya, I like music]. I kinda go through phases too. At the moment I'm in a bit of an Aussie rock thing - Powderfinger, Grinspoon, Something for Kate, 28 Days, a bit of a dancypants thing - Chemical Brothers, Krafty Kuts, my fave local DJ Toast, then there's the misc rock/metal/hiphoppy type stuff Puddle of Mudd, Linkin Park, Incubus and Scribe. All these are in high rotation at the moment between my home, car and work cd players.

I've always got a song in my head and I'm going to start an experiment after a chat with an interesting friend. I'm going to write down the first song that pops into my head when I wake up. If I remember of course because I'm not the most coherent in the mornings...

Had a funny dream last night which is a bit of a hangover from the weekend. I'm a frequent flyer and I'm pretty well versed in the safety instructions that they demonstrate at the start of each flight. I noticed this trip that when the demo started and they asked for your attention, even the frequent flyers, as they had some important information to impart. Same old demo but the fact that they asked for the attention of the frequent flyers as well kinda stuck with me. I wonder where that came from as both flights had included that phrase. I could probably do the safetly instructions on my head:

There is a flotation device located underneath your seat. In the event of an emergency, place the lifejacket over your head and pass the tape around your waist and secure with the clips. Inflate the lifejacket once you're outside the plane by pulling the tabs. There is also a light and whistle to attract attention. If oxygen is required, masks will drop from the ceiling. Place the elastic over your head and mouth and secure by pulling the elastic. Make sure you fit your own mask before helping others...you get the point right?

So anyway I never pay attention. My book was way more exciting. I did keep an ear out just in case there was any exciting new developments but nooo. You know I really wonder how many people think to look for a lifejacket or fix oxygen masks when the plane is plummeting to earth? As if anyone's going to remember where the nearest exit is? Anyhoo I digress... In my dream they singled me out to do the emergency demo but of course I was naked. If only I could show you the dream it would sound so much better. But hey this is my blog and I'll ramble on about whatever I want.

I want to pick up from a post by Kate [love the makeover but comments don't work! love the fact you had a Jack Sprat too]: today she was musing on attraction to the opposite sex. [oh and I so agree about the smell, I still melt when I smell Issey Miyake aftershave grrrrrrrrrrr]

This also flows on from a conversation I was having at lunch. I was being an old letch and perving on an innocent young boy of 18 and admiring his fine buttocks. That's got nothing to do with the story but just thought I'd share. Anyway we started talking about the kinda guys we like and get attracted to. Our current preferences show that we are instinctively drawn to alpha male types. At the moment my celebrity jellyknees alpha male is Sawyer [Josh Holloway] from Lost and hers is Russell Crowe [eeuuww but whatever]. She's constantly trying to set me up with her single friends, which I appreciate, so she was probing me for what I look for in a man. And it is as below in random order

tall - I'm not heightist as most of my boyfriends have been shorter than me. I just prefer them tall
pretty lips - I just have a thing about a nicely shaped mouth
kind eyes - or eyes that just mesmerise you. heheh a guy with the right eyes could get me to do just about anything
broad shoulders - ooooh mama
not obese and not anorexic - Not really fussy on physical condition as long as he can keep up with me ;}

oh not physical she says. Okay personality wise:

loyal/honorable - with my history I find it VERY hard to trust anyone so I guess he's gotta be patient too
a sense of humour - a really wicked good one helps to deal with me but if he at least has one that's a start
smart - tis very different to intelligence which to me is more book knowledge
intelligent - gotta be able to keep up a conversation with me too ;}
kind - self explanatory really
thoughtful - this is a new entry on the list after meeting the weekend man from the first wedding. There ARE actually guys out there like that!!
polite/well mannered - not extreme but just the basics y'know?
sensual - I'm a touchy feely kinda gal and there's just nothing like the feel of someone else's skin.

and the all important chemistry because without that it'll never work. But that's about the minimum. I can deal with just about anything else but that's the bare minimum requirement. Now is that such a big ask??? Maybe I need to narrow it down to a man who'll say bless you when I sneeze *sigh*

So top 5 celebs I'd shag in a heartbeat:

Billy Zane
Josh Hartnett
Joaquin Phoenix [loved his brother River too]
Not much of a beefcake fan but boyoboy does Vin Diesel do it for me in such indescribable ways. Pitch Black is like porn to me grrrrrrr
Paul Newman - 20 years ago or earlier
Chris Hemsworth

so make of that what you will. While I'm making lists, there's probably half a dozen fellas at work that I'm lusting after:

JDub
eyecamdy
coffeeboy
little stevie
tal

heheh what was that about an itch?

now listening to: Linkin Park, Scribe and Chemical Brothers
still reading: Jackdaws by Ken Follett

Tuesday, May 24, 2005


Can't find the Flyffy pix but thought this was a bit better... aaahhhhhhh Posted by Hello

[insert witty title here]

boy I've got to stop drinking on a school night. Discovered, much to my glee, a hidden box of Chateau Cardboard Plonko Redo 2005. Good ole cask, tastes a bit funny but what the hey.

I think I'm trying to avoid talking about adelaide again. It's only because I'm not 100% sure and speculating brings up too many confusing thoughts. It wasn't as depressing as B's wedding but still saddening, all that togetherness and commitment. Mkay lets start from the start.

Had a really crap sleep because I was paranoid of oversleeping my alarm. Woke up to find that the monthly visit from Aunty Red was here again. Great. Thanks so much. Moving right along, I stumble downstairs to discover the cat has puked on the couch. Great. Thanks so much. Then I discover that I have no milk for my coffee... you can see where I'm going right? Anyway fast forward to Adelaide.

Read a great book on my trip - Hornets Flight by Ken Follet. Very good WWII spy story if you're interested. I get to sunny Adelaide and check in to my fab hotel. I did take photos but pix of roofs aren't that exciting. I call one of the other girlies who was staying about 4 hotels down from me as she was hosting pre-wedding champers in her hotel room. Got ready then headed off to her hotel. I get in the room and there's Mr G who I haven't seen in a couple of months. Mr G is another one of those people who everybody likes. He's smart, funny and cute. Mr G used to work in my building as do the other people who traveled from Canb for the wedding. We all hang out on Fridays, have house parties and other shenanigans. MrG moved to Adelaide in April so I haven't seen him for a while. Big hugs all round and he tells me I'm looking good. Looking healthy. He's looking good too because in the interim he's grown a beard and grown his hair a bit. Methinks he's let himself go but it looks good. Made me think *why* has he let himself go but I'll get back to that. Anyway about a bottle of plonko bubblo and half a punnet of strawberries later it's time to go to the wedding. No problem off we go. Nice ceremony - the bride was amazingly beautiful and the groom exceptionally handsome. I wish I could post pix but I really shouldn't without their permission and there's no way I'm asking. And on to the reception.

A lovely restaurant with great food and lovely waitresses. Two were from Montreal, Marie and Cynthia and came from the same town. Not that they had met until 2 months ago when they started working at the restaurant, pretty cool. They came out for a few drinkiepoos after the reception and were top fun. Anyway Mr G was seated sort of opposite me at our round table at the reception and I caught him looking gaga at me a couple of times. He seemed really morose too which is really unlike him as he's a really sparky guy. I'm sure that he liked me before he left because his old flatmate said that he was going to ask me out for dinner but he never did - why not I wonder? We've always been super buddybuddy and call eachother babe and have dnm's etc but...

now I'm a hugger and a kisser with my friends. He kissed me on the lips as we were saying bye. I was really schmammered [geez I love weddings and free booze] but he did. That's what I meant by the oh shit moment
[although there's two Oh Shit moments really - there's that one which I think of as ohshitohshitohshit and there's the sudden realisation Oh Shit moment like when you realise that OH SHIT something was sposed to be somewhere at some time and it isn't. ] it threw me off and it was just like okay.. so...uhh.. doobiedooo... check ya later...

So what's wrong with him that I didn't throw myself at him and give him my hotel key? Apart from the fact that he lives in another state and the other body conscious reasons? It's shallow but he's short. And I'm really tall, taller than your average complex girl. And he's skinny which is not so bad in itself but I'm not and it makes me feel like Jack Sprat and his wife. I hate myself for thinking like this because it's so hypocritical when I'm bitching about being alone. I like him but I'm not entirely sure I like him like that because we are such good friends. I think that he'd be a good boyfriend too but... there's just a "but" there... It's like dating your brother. But at the same time I wish I could stop thinking about it all. Damn brain just goes in circles...

But once I get out of speculationland, in the end there's nothing to deal with because he does live over there and it's all in my head. I guess that if he hasn't said anything to me now I doubt it will come up. Well there ya go, a view into my head. Lets move on, I'm making myself cringe.

Man I'm such a nerd - I heard that the new Doctor Who was on on saturday while I was at the reception... and I phoned a friend to tape it for me... ohhhh so sad...

Forgot to tell you about Fluffy, one of my fish that I keep at work. He was not well and was hanging on for a coupla days so I had to send him to the freezer. It was the most awful thing I've had to do but it was best for him. Stoopid goldfish just kept looking at me as I did it but fish aren't ment to swim upsidedown on the bottom of the tank. I'll post a pic of him and his little mate Jan [as in Not Happy Jan]. I couldn't bear the thought of Jan swiming around the tank alone so had to get a few new fellas. Enter Bartholomew Alphonse Ripley I and Othello. I'll take some pix tomorrow for your approval. And I didn't name them by the way. I got some of the fellas at work to give me names and I liked them all.

I'm a strong believer in the power of positive thought so right this very second I want you to send good wishes to - Schapelle Corby & Douglas Wood - two people who need good luck and who I want to see returned to Australia. Just do it.

and we're back. :]

One of the girlies I work with said that butthead isn't going to be in tomorrow!! I dunno if she was just heckling me so we'll see. If not it will only be 12 days to go! I can so do 12 days! I might have no tip of my tongue but I can do it!

Now stuck in my head: Galvanise - Chemical Brothers
Now reading: Jackdaws - Ken Follett

synthesize efficient functionalities

Anyone got the secret formula for growing an extra set of arms? I'm away ONE day and the shit hits the fan and the fan is on high. I know I'm indispensable but geeeeeeez! 13 days to go til bozobreath leaves... I'm not counting today because it's almost over. [still feel hungover too dammit!!!]

I need to talk to you about the other person that I caught up with on the weekend but not right now because I'm still at work. I'm the master minimiser whenever someone walks in the room but I just can't bring myself to chat about that now... just in case.

poor flyguy... his blog's been 'outed'. I couldn't think of anything worse... Especially in the army - I'm sure everyone is giving him shit about it, that's just what boys do. If anyone ever finds out that this is me, I'd probably stop writing. It's already pretty wierd that people are reading this [and enjoying it??!!] but it's nice in an odd way. I think that I've given myself away quite a bit and that makes me nervous but at the same time I'm pretty comfortable that most of the people I know would never stumble across this blog as no one I know is a blogger or blog reader. My policy is deny, deny, deny. I will never admit it, NEVER!!!! I just hope he doesn't censor his writing now that he knows that his unit is reading because I was really enjoying his blog.

I forgot to mention that Adelaide taxi drivers are the nicest!! And they actually use their indicators!! I know that's a bit shocking... should have made you sit down first ;}.

Oh and one important thing before I forget... there were NO rowers at the reception!!!! What the???? I was mislead!!!!!!!!!! Although I heard one of the funniest pick up lines:

"Fancy coming back to my place and doing the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway?"

heheh the answer was still no...

more later folks, da-me los cables puente de baterĂ­a, los pollos se han escapados! HAHA!!

Sunday, May 22, 2005

I need a refund on my recovery day aka that "Oh shit" moment

Somehow it's 5:24pm on my recovery day and I've done nothing! Well nothing that I was sposed to be doing and everything I shouldn't have been doing and do you think that I WILL be doing any of the list of chores that needs to be done? hmm the day is young, we'll see ; }

Another perplexing weekend. Caught up with two people I haven't seen in a while. I found out that one of my good friends who moved to Canada 10 months ago was in town for a flying visit. I didn't manage to catch up with her on Friday so I was a bit upset about that. Fast forward to Saturday morning... I'm grabbing a quick coffee before the plane leaves when I get a tap on the shoulder. And there's Dimples [*not her real name*]!! so I inhale my coffee and we head off to checkin as she was going to Melbourne too [had to go to Melb first then Adelaide]. She asks me what seat I'm in... 25C, so I take a squizz at her ticket... 25D!!!! cool huh?!! So we got a good 2 hours to catch up which was brilliant. She's one of the coolest, nicest, funkiest people I know. One of those people who everybody likes and doesn't have a bad bone in her body. Love ya Dimples :}

the other one I can't really talk about yet because it's just too... I dunno, I just don't know what to make of it yet so when I figure it out I'll tell you. My head still hurts and I spose I should really try and muster up some energy to do stuff...

Only 15 days to endure the bonehead boss. I think I can manage 15 days.

I'll fill you in when my brain is actually working

Friday, May 20, 2005


you're going WHERE on the weekend??? don't you love me anymore??? Posted by Hello

can't... tear... myself.... away......

Well I just lost everything that I was typing due to my crappy HP Pabloodyvillion which crashes if you breathe on it. So from what I can recollect from my [now] very cab sav [the perks of BBQ leftovers] soaked pot addled brain is:

Just one more little post, I promise. I actually haven't left yet, I blame Kate ; } She pointed me to Jelly's blog and I haven't been able to stop laughing yet. The first post I read was about certain unholy smells and I was nearly crying it's so funny. She's clever writer, amazingly funny and I relate to everything she writes, the driving, the fridge,the boobie cyst, the lust, the secret shame ;} [although mine is more trashy pop songs AGH!], the subtleness and the sins. She has my vote for president of the world as long as I can make one ammendent to her "offences punishable by death" list in that bad customer service in a customer service industry is just WRONG end of story. She's my idol :]

Okay enough of the Jelly appreciation society, go and read her blog, you'll see what I mean

http://unholysmell.blogspot.com

I wish that Rosa, Kate, Jelly and I lived within "coffeeing distance" of eachother... we'd certainly be a lot more happier and certainly never bored or lonely :] They're certainly the coolest people I've never met.

I've got it!!!! I've got His Lordship's "you're doing WHAT all weekend?" look. I'll post it in a tick.

Can I just mention how much I love PB & J sandwiches? Although my Jam is Blackcurrant... uuuuuhhhh PB & JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

And they reckon that Douglas Wood is still alive! The mufti from Australia says that he's spoken with him although now the mufti has been threatened with kidnap. What an awful situation. Send them positive thoughts, I think they need it.

Have a good weekend, you know I will be and depending on my hangover on Sunday I'll fill you in on all the juicy goss.

boy I love my camera Posted by Hello

and they're not upside down, they grow that way Posted by Hello

i think this is my new favourite colour Posted by Hello

His Lordship and his aloof pose Posted by Hello

sexy porn nails soon to be chopped to the middle finger length. After I've flashed them at some poor rower on the weekend naturally Posted by Hello

Stumblin all the waaaaaay

man I want broadband at home... fricken dialup ;{ Probably a good thing otherwise I'd never see daylight.

I've been playing with my camera again. geez I pick good presents for myself heheh I'll post them in a sec. His Lordship was being awfully cute so I had to snap him and my beeeudyful zygocactus in the sun. I'll get pix of the other one when I'm back as the light's gone. I hate it how it's getting darker earlier. Can anyone explain to me why we do daylight savings? I'm sure there's some scientific reason but it doesn't really make sense to me and Queensland is too bloody hot for me. I'm going to miss the frosty Canberra winters but I'm moving to Melbourne which I hear is equally cold YAY!

Had a really scary thought - I'm going to miss blogging over the weekend... is that normal?? As you can tell I have a pretty bad case of verbal diarhoea but I didn't realise how bad... heheh be prepared for a shit torrent when I get back HAHA!! But you know you'll be reading don't you ; } I have you under my spell mwaahaaa!!

AAARRRGGHHH!!! Even more scarier thought - What am I going to wear??!!!! I have a nice top and a nice skirt but they don't go together. So I need pants or a skirt for the top and a top for the skirt. And somehow put this together before sparrows fart tomorrow morning when I leave. And I've gotta pack and clean the house cuz my dad will be preparing his Lordships cuisine and AS IF I'm going to let him in the door the way this house looks. Not in this lifetime. Damn beer and all it's frosty goodness!!

How is it that a cat can give you a guilt trip? I think he knows I'm going because he's just got this way of looking at me as if to say "You're spending another weekend away from ME??" ah he'll get over it but he has this way of letting me know... The last two times I've left him for the weekend he's puked on my bed, my brand new bed thank you very much. One on one side of the foot of the bed and the other weekend it was the other side of the foot of the bed. I don't let him sleep on my bed because it drives me nuts all that licking and scratching in the middle of the night and I'm a washing machine sleeper so I don't know if he's sneaking up there in the day or puking on purpose. We'll see what it will be this weekend....

DAMN the 'finger RAWK!!!!!!!!!!!! If you haven't experianced the rocky goodness of Powderfinger then get thee to the nearest online CD shop and buy one, hell buy them all. You won't regret it. Trust me!

Well I'd better go and do the zillion things I need to instead of chatting with you again. You're just such a good listener. Have a good weekend and depending on my hangover on Sunday I'll fill you in on all the juicy goss.

if you want, you can have, everything that I've gawt

you know even though I didn't have time to post yesterday I was thinking about my blog all day! talk about obsessed! So don't think that I wasn't thinking about you all day dear reader because I was - just busybusybusy.

Oh that bright light at the end of the tunnel - I'm almost blind!! My boss is leaving in three glorious weeks! 10th of June is the day of celebration. Oh happy day!!! We had been told the end of June and I was most upset to find out that June has 5 weeks instead of 4 so that would have made it 6 weeks til bozobreath left. But no!! *doin the happy dance*

yikes I've been linked!! you nutter ;} it's scary to think that people are actually reading my crap. heheh thanks! I'm sure you're all going to go blind after reading this nonsense but what the hey.

Boys look away for a sec because I'm going to have a girly moment here - I've got gel nails [aka porn nails] [for those uninitiated, gel nails are where they paint a layer of gel on your nail which is then UV hardened so they're better for your nails than acrylics] and I got my refills last night. DAMN my nails look good!! My nail girly, K8, is just the best. Are all Kate's so cool?? We have a massive bitch about her flatmate [who is a friend of mine and who introduced me to K8] and her boyfriend [who is a really interesting character. He's a lebanese fella with a massive chip on his shoulder but he fascinates me - we'll go into that a bit later, much later as I'm sneaking off home in a sec] I'll post a pic of my sexy porn nails when I get home. I'm gonna have to file them down after the weekend as it's getting hard to type so fast.

I'm off to Adelaide this weekend for another bloody wedding. allll my friends are getting maaarrrieeed! I've never been to Adelaide so it should be fun. Did I mention the rowers? The groom informed me that the place where they're having the reception has two levels. The upstairs level is where the reception is... downstairs is a rowing convention!! Tall fellas with broad shoulders.. I think I'm going to have to find every excuse to stay downstairs!!! mmmhmmmm

I'd love to add my 'law' to the below but if I did I might give myself away... but if you're curious ask me privately ;}

1. Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
2. Anthony's Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Kovac's Conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

4. Cannon's Karmic Law:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have a flat tyre.

5. O'brien's Variation Law:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

6. BELL'S THEOREM
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

7. RUBY'S PRINCIPLE OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8. WILLOUGHBY'S LAW
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

9. ZADRA'S LAW OF BIOMECHANICS
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10. BREDA'S RULE
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

11. OWEN'S LAW
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

12. HOWDEN'S LAW
You remember you have to mail a letter only when you're near the mailbox.

Well it's friday and I'm sneaking outta work early... nyah nyah :P

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Girl Powwwa

Two very cool girlies - go read their blogs NOW [but then come straight back]

http://notquitemartha.blogspot.com/

http://rosaposa.blogspot.com/

I think that Kate must be my doppelganger, we seem to be living parallel lives worlds apart - either that or she's been reading my diary!! Although I hope that she hears from her friday night guy if we are living parallel lives. I'm off to Adelaide this weekend and we all know that there's a time difference so who knows what's in store this weekend mwahahahahaaaa! Haven't laughed so hard in a while.. you've just gotta read the Gladys post. It reminds me of my Marilyn Monroe wig... let's not go there mkay?

And if I understand correctly, Rosa is a teacher at an Aussie highschool!! For this alone she deserves a zillion medals for bravery. I don't understand how anyone would willingly endure that torture so for that I am in complete awe. Especially if there are any girls there like I was in high school. Queen shit of turd mountain... *shudder* I was not a fun girl to be around and I caused a lot of shit because I just didn't give a shit. oh the turbulent times of youth... and you'd want to go back in THERE??? So brave :] And a funny connection - all three of us are single with cats... make of that what you will. I'm thinking cats rock but whatever.

Heard a good one today. I work in IT with a bunch of extremely eccentric professionals and I received a helpdesk job that had PEBKAC as the description of the User Problem Description. PEBKAC stands for Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair, nearly peed my pants at that. That's probably why I feel up today. I've had a good coupla laughs today. heheheh then again it could just be hysteria! Nah I feel good but it's getting late and I need to read the last chapter of my book or else I won't be able to sleep. Nighty night.

Army on the brain

Still no word on Douglas Wood. I can imagine that the not knowing would be sheer hell for his family. They've set up a website http://www.thewoodfamily.info if anyone wants a squizz. I can't get over how much he looks like PT. I think that's my emotional connection here because I REALLY hope that he gets out of this alive.

I saw that Oz's latest contingent of troups are in place in Iraq - good luck to them all. One of my mates is a tank driver who is already over there so I hope the're keeping him in line. He's a bit of a wildchild which makes me wonder how he goes with the whole discipline thing. I hate being told what to do so I'd make a shit soldier. I'd probably get kicked out for insubordination, rebellion or something like that - damn my contrary nature!

That and I don't think that women should be on the front line. As "girl power" as I am I don't think that a women's place is in battle. I've talked with Tankboy about this topic at great length. My view is that women are capable of doing the job but it's the male soldiers that are affected by a woman on the field regardless of her capabilities. I think that it's an ingrained nature of males to protect females. Call it the caveman theory if you will. That need to protect a female [whether consciously or subconsiously] interferes with a soldiers ability to fight. Tankboy agrees but he wants scantily clad women in the field for distraction purposes ; } And hell if I were a soldier on the front line I'd be distracted by perving on all the cuties - I was watching an US army in Iraq documentary on the weekend and WOAH they had to be the hottest unit I've ever seen.

As you know I like to read other peoples blogs and damn there are a lot of whingers out there [myself included] It seems to be a forum for Woe is Me. I guess there are a lot of unhappy people in the world. But the insight into other peoples lives is just fascinating. I don't feel so bad now because at least I have a light at the end of the tunnel [and no it's not the train] which some of these people don't have. Some of the blogs are really scary in how depressed and alone they are. I don't know if it's "good blog etiquette" to comment to say if they ever need someone to talk to to drop me a line. I just feel the need to reach out to these people as I've seen where that road leads and I'm just a caring sharing kinda gal : ]

And congratulations to Tom on winning Survivor - not that I wanted him to win but Steph got voted out early. I just love the bitchy roundup afterwards... meeeeooooowwwwwwww!!!!

I've got more I want to write but I've gotta get back to work. I feel surprisingly up today - maybe it's because I've been able to give ole bossypoos an answer for every question today. So nyeh! : P I've got some naughty pics I want to share with you later tonight. heheh suggestive eh? *wink wink* mwaahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

and we interupt the regular programming for this brief message

Well I'm successfully managing to avoid my boss at all costs today. It just shouldn't have to be this way but this is what they pay me the big bucks for. is it time to go home yet?

Stumbled across another coupla interesting blogs if you're interested:

http://humanityashore-hambantota.blogspot.com/

http://humanlandscape.blogspot.com/

more cranky ramblings later ; }

Monday, May 16, 2005

watch out folks, it was a doozy

woah what is going on here folks? Is it full moon or am I just missing something? I feel like I'm under attack and I'm not really sure why or what to do about it. fk sent me 2 superb emails today dictating what he did and didn't want me to do in my job. Uh how many more days until you leave butthead? I tell you trusted friend, I really don't know how I'm going to handle the next 4-5 weeks but I'm sure you'll be reading all about it. This afternoon I called one of my workmates up for a cawfee [remind me to tell you about coffeeboy ;}] just to escape the office. I was dreading every time he came anywhere near my office but lucky for HIM he stayed away from me. I could have gotten very unprofessional on him the mood I'm in. I just need to think things over and calm down.

I think I'm just going to have to bite my tongue and compromise my professional integrity until he's gone then business as usual. It just goes against the grain within me, like rubbing your hand on a cheesegrater. I don't know if it's my "I don't like to be told what to do" thing or whether it's just him.

oh yeah coffeeboy - he told me that he's been dumped by his girlfriend on the weekend. B O O H O O buddy ; } come and cry on my shoulder sweetheart.

Forgot to tell you about my doors moment on friday. stoopid confession time --> When I was a little girl somone, I forget who, told me a story about doors to alternate realities. The story was about a boy and a girl who couldn't find the door back to their reality and would open every door they could in the hope that they could go home. That idea has always facinated me and i still always think about it when doors open. I met someone who has had the same thing since he was little. And we found this out after almost running into each other through a door - he was pulling in to come out and me vice versa. Interesting.

Still no word on Douglas Wood. Almost had an argument with one of the more opinionated guys today about the innocents in war. He said that people like Douglas deserve to die if they go over there because they know what they're getting into. I can see his point but I think he's wrong ;} I think arguing over religion is wrong and I can see it escalating. They reported a mosque desecration on the news and to me that just makes it worse. It's a tit for tat situation and it's going to end badly with the innocent people who have nothing to do with the war ending up the casualties. Very sad. It's like our little office motto "Why does it have to be so fucking difficult?" That and "Is it time to go yet?" and "I love my job I think it's grand, something something rhymes with and..."

And can I just say I can't wait to see Star Wars 3. It's released here on Thursday so I'm not really sure when I'll see it but hopefully soon!

Sunday, May 15, 2005

I doan wanna go to work.... you can't make meeeee

I'vc got that oh so familiar Sunday night feeling. I'm dreading work once again. I've decided that I'm going to put pedal to the metal and work my butt off. I'm so fucked off about last week, I managed to forget it all [to an extent] for most of the weekend and now it's back with a vengence oh that Sunday dread. *big sigh*

Theres also copping any fallout from the sc. If Phil starts bitching about the stereo again I'm going to flip. Okay tell me this... If you are at a public function and you have a problem with volume of the music - you asked them to turn the music down and they did, way down - Do you then proceed to stand basically directly in front of the stereo and bitch further or do you move away and continue your pleasant time and the pleasant time of others? ARGH see I'm getting riled up already and it's not even Monday!!! Okay deep breaths.... that's kinda my mantra these days. It started off as a joke but it's not anymore... heheh makes me think of SERENITY NOW!!! heheh I'm not that zaney ; }

But this is just week one of 4 after which we say bydeeby to ole bossypoos. Sayonara Sweetheart! Not that I'm counting or nothin. I'm only going to have to compromise my professional integrity for 4 weeks but that's fine, just fine. Just gotta think big picture [how ironic] good thing I'm a patient girl [oh so ironic].

I've decided to take my camera with me on my morning walks. i love walking in the morning because it's so quiet and peaceful. I'll post anything I think you'd like. It's pretty hard to take a bad pic with this camera - just love it!

Need some reading - check this one out:

http://interestingorstupid.blogspot.com/

Sex is a four letter word boom shacka lacka ;]

this is a tree down the street forme and yes it is actually sideways but I kinda like it like that Posted by Hello

The majestic Miss C Posted by Hello

pretty colors Posted by Hello

my beautiful Zygocactus Posted by Hello

Treacher Collins

I watched a documentary on Treacher Collins syndrome last night and talk about a paradigm shift. It's a genetic birth defect which affects the face/head development - you'll excuse me if I cut and paste a moment:

What Is Treacher Collins syndrome?

Treacher Collins syndrome is a hereditary condition that primarily affects the structures of the head and face. Individuals with this condition have a characteristic appearing face. The physical features include: downslanting eyes; notches of the lower eyelids, most frequently on the 1/3 of the lid furthest from the nose; underdeveloped cheekbones; prominent nose; broad mouth; small chin with a steep angle of the lower jaw; underdeveloped, malformed and/or prominent ears; and "sideburns" (licks of hair extending in front of the ears.) Individuals with this condition frequently, but not always, have some degree of hearing loss, usually conductive. The nasopharynx may be narrow. There are other problems that are more frequent in people with Treacher Collins syndrome than in the general population, but occur only in a minority of affected individuals. These problems include: cleft lip, with or without cleft palate; cleft palate alone; heart defects; and, strabismus. Children and adults with Treacher Collins syndrome are usually normal individuals with some physical abnormalities of the face.

They had interviews with some of the people with the syndrome and it just broke my heart. I don't know what it is about this past week but boyoboy has my brain been working overtime. Anyway one thing I wanted to share from the documentary, apart from tolerance and acceptance of those different to yourself, is the way that they described genetics.

TCS can be genetic or totally at random. It is caused by one gene being slightly different to the 'normal' dna sequence and I just loved the way they described how difficult it is to isolate this 'mutant' gene. They said to imagine the dna map being the size all the books in the biggest library in the world [can't remember their specific example but anyhoo] then you need to find the 1 book in the library that has a particular tyPo. Can ya dig it?

And I heard on the news this morning that Douglas Wood might still be alive. It's funny how much I want this total stranger to survive. He reminds me of PT at work and when I first saw his recorded video plea for release it really touched me. When I saw the second one where they'd shaven his head and he had a black eye it made me cry. You can see that he's ready to die in the second video. He seems resigned and it's just so sad for his family who are trying so hard to negotiate his release. I'm keeping my fingers firmly Xed for him and everyone over there in the wars. It's hard to imagine what he's going through right this second. Kinda puts things in perspective

This morning I was struck at how beautiful it is in the autumn here. All of the trees are changing color so I think I'm going to start a color study of the leaves since I got myself my digichristmasprezzie. I had breaky with my Ma this morning and snapped some pics outside with her cat. We think she's a Maine Coon because she's so huge and has all of the characteristics. very pretty to look at.

Saturday, May 14, 2005


Excuse me if this pic appears twice it looks like it didn't come through after the freaky fog pic. This is the after shot. Posted by Hello

his lordship in the sun Posted by Hello

The moring after the wedding there was a freak fog on Sydney Harbour. It blocked out the bridge and the city for a few hours and cleared at about 10am.  Posted by Hello

heheh good thing you can't see that I'm stark naked in the reflection! This pic was also taken after the wedding on the weekend Posted by Hello

Sydney at Night Posted by Hello

what the fiddledeedeeeee?

just chuckling to myself on my tourettes mouth... alcohol just has that effect on me. Loosens my tongue in more than one way.

on a completely different topic - can someone explain to me how to be happy? What exactly is happiness? I've been told by 3 people in the last week that I need some serious cheering up but what I'd like to know is how -> like step 1. do this step 2. do that. I'm at a point in my life where I'm in limbo. I'm unsatisfied with my life the way it is and desperately want to change it but I wonder whether my plans for moving elsewhere aren't just running away from my problems instead of being the fabled solutions to them or am I just scared of leaving my comfort zone?

My brother is a Libra and he has the most difficult time making decisions as he literally weighs up both sides of any situation ad nauseaum until he can't make a decision because the scales are evenly weighted. This is how I feel at the moment. I want to leave here because I'm not happy at work, I'm not happy with my social life or home life which leaves little else. But I don't want to leave because my family is here and there's health issues with my mum. I feel guilty in a way because I feel selfish but at the same time I know that I have to lead my own life. I know that she relys on my brother and I to a certain extend and it's not easy for her as she's hearing impaired. I feel a touch of resentment from her because she want's to get out of here as well but it's not as easy for her to just pick up and leave the way it is for me. It's harder for her to get a job with the hearing loss. It feels like I'm escaping and leaving them here. I just talk myself in circles Go.. Stay.. Go... Stay....

I worry that it's just going to be same shit different location if I go elsewhere. While I'm happy to be by myself I don't want to be lonely. I've got friends there but no close close friends. But then again the close close friends I have here seem so distant sometimes. I know it's a girl thing to empathise with another woman when discussing personal issues, guys tend to like to find solutions when talking girly stuff. That's just human nature but what gets me is that both of my closest confidants know that I find it so hard to ring someone to talk to when I feel low so when I do, you'd think that they'd realise that *I* need to talk. I just find that when I do ring and start to explain what's going on with me they do the empathetic Me Too thing and the subject turns to whatever Me Too thing they've been experiancing and it's no longer about me. I am always there for my friends and perhaps I've conditioned them into this way of talking/listening by being such a good friend. I think that's why I'm a bit addicted to this blog. I get to speak uninterrupted.

Another thing about blogging is the fear of being found out. With the more that I type I wonder whether anyone will work out who I am but at the same time I hope that someone does so that I don't have to explain anything - just read the direct feed from my brain ; }

But back to my original point. What is happiness? Is it having everything you want, material and emotional? Being fulfilled? Pheremones? thumb wrestling? What would make me happy? At the moment... I don't know. I don't know what I need to make me happy. When you look at the surface, materially I have everything most people want. Great house, nice car, good job, good friends. So why am I so unhappy? Why is it that I've got this secret life once I get home? I've been single for a long time and I guess it comes back to wanting to be important but wanting to be important to someone else. I don't want to think that it all hinges on sharing my life with someone but at the moment maybe it does. I wish there was someone who would look at me the way that the weekend guy looked at his wife. Totally oblivious to anyone else on the planet, as if she alone existed for him. Why is it that I need that to feel happy? Emotional fulfillment - is that happiness?

geez I'm depressing myself again... Just found a neato quote:

Our life is what our thoughts make it."
- Marcus Aurelius


heheh wonder if he was the founder of the NLP technique ; }

Anyway that's enough of that for the moment, trusted friend. Time for a coffee break

Friday, May 13, 2005

whaatheeefaarrrrkkk?

I find it interesting that I can actually type in the current state that I'm in. Needless to say that I've been drinking since 2pm and it's now 6:14pm to be precice. Thank fuck I type 80wpm otherwise my brain couldn't keep up so you'll excuse me for any typos. Badmotorfingers as the tonsilgod [Chris Cornell] once put it.

Woke up to a very smoky morning as they're backburing all along the Weston ridge for prevention of bushfires. Beautiful dawn sunrise all orange and red.

Well me being president of the social club i ended up organising the whole GEMD shebang but I've really got to say so the fuck waht? I managed to take presidents privelege with half a bottle o plonko bubblo so fuck you motherfukers

But wait let me start at the start. Got an email from FK dicktating to me how I should do my job this morning. Exfuckingscuse me?????? Ohh I'm sorry I thought *I* was the manager... musta had myself confused there for a fuckin second!! Musta been taking responsibility for my actions... sorry bout that!! I know that's a foreign concept and all.....

deep breaths... won't give him the satisfaction..

being blasted with Puddle of Mudd - damn I love a good rock band!!! Some wicked lyrics in there, love what this dude writes about

Gotta get back to some stuff that flyguytilidie said - like he said a shift in paradigm. Some interesting thoughts flying round my brain last night - pot thoughts of another kind. his are from contemplating on the pot. Mine are from contemplating on pot:

He was talking about being important and the need to assert your need for importance. I was talking to a mate last night about this topic as it fascinated me since the reading. My mate say that people's main motivation is to feel good or important about themselves. That every action is a direct result of needing to feel good about yourself. Charity comes from feeling good about yourself for providing for those less fortunate than yourself. That success comes from wanting to feel better than others, this feeling good about yourself I like the flow on conversation from flyguytilidies musings on the need to be important. I agree with both but the romantic in me doesn't want to see that harsh cold side of life even though I know it's there.

Because if I can't believe in that 'goodness' in people how can I ever believe in love. In some ways I think it's just a chemical reaction to the ancient need to procreate. When I know that there are guys out there whose only aim is to fuck as many girls as they can poke their dick into - how can I believe that any guy could feel that kind of genuine romantic sentiment. How do you know if it's an act? But then again I think of the weekend guy and I know that there is such a creature out there BUT oh so rare... how do I find one like that? Will my past make up for it? Does it count towards the final tally?

Speaking of final tallys got an interesting funny for you trusted friend. I'm off to Adelaide next weekend for Matti and Ned's wedding and M told me this morning that the place where the reception is held is holding a rowing convention of sorts in the downstairs area.... there could be a tallun to drag back to my **** hotel after all mwwwhaahahahahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!! Booked my flight and it's all hunkydory. Bubble break ; }

Gonna do some surfin then I'll be back if I'm still coherent.